So I’m sure many of you have heard about the new wonder drug Paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin. It’s a new treatment for both leprosy and SARS available in droplet form. It can be given orally, by IV or as a suppository.
New research suggests it's an effective treatment both for the common cold and trauma due to lightning strikes. It’s been thoroughly tested on animals who unfortunately all died [unpublished study]. Many doctors are now using it as a first line treatment for MI, MS, ME, COPD, HIV, PE and DVT.
Off label uses include reversing impotence and performance enhancement in combat sports. Unfortunately it’s list of common side effects include nausea, vomiting, alopecia, heart attacks, homosexuality, and supernumerary gynecomastia. However it’s excellent cost point has made it popular with NHS GPs. Even for cases of AIDS and pubic lice.
Paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin is made from the cerebellar cortex of a genetically modified bison, improves strength and intelligence and is an effective antidote to ricin. The Minister of Health, we hear, will shortly be advising: take Paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin!
[now lets see if our moderators and their AIs are capable of understanding irony and context]
