Are people with ASC always neat and organised

Hello and welcome.

Thank you for asking about this topic and checking about this assumption.

I can be both disorganised / untidy, plus neat / organised (considered by both how I view things and how other people might view the same things).  

It depends upon the items / environment, who uses them, whether they are for shared use (or just used by me) ...in which areas of life I can be tidy / untidy.

At work (ultra tidy), shared kitchen (usually tidy - so if not so, something might be a problem for me e.g. a burnout clue).  Because that is what it takes for me to feel safe in those shared environments.  In areas of the home or garden where I relax and pursue interests or pastimes (...gloriously untidy!).  My bookcases and music CDs etc. (ultra tidy).  My wardrobe (pretty untidy).  And so on.

However, I am also aware that if there are items or an area / environment where I would normally prefer to be tidy and organised - but currently they are not so - that can be a warning that I have become stressed or overwhelmed about something.

I was thinking that, if your husband is OK about understanding his Autism (rather than he feels that he needs support to find out more about Autism), and you were to be OK with everything too; that would all be a good situation (so I would have thought the assumptions other people might have about Autism, however well intentioned, might not be quite applicable to your particular situation).

In my own family, I have unfortunately found that sometimes relatives may only have acquired their understanding about Autism from watching non-Autistic actors playing a role on the TV, or unusual crime stories in the news, or "entertainment" on social media and in films.  In that case, I try not to be too critical about their unusual views and then slowly work to help them learn more about actual Autistic people (bit by bit, not loads of information all at once).

However, if I think friends or family are instead saying things when they are trying to socially / politely reassure me about something they believe is worrying me (i e. they are trying to be kind and supportive (but getting that a bit wrong), rather than being willing to talk with me about something factual - which I would have preferred) - then that can be a bit more tricky for me to navigate.  In that situation, education is perhaps not the priority - rather, it might be more important for me to find a way to make clearer to them by a different way: my personal perspective and experience of things (and how I hoped they might help me). 

For example, one of my older relatives seems to accept that I struggle with noise levels in public places and startling noises indoors ...but they also do not seem able to acknowledge my noise sensitivity is a feature of my being an Autistic person (as though they think their Autism denial mode is somehow kinder to me?).  Currently, I am not sure whether (or not) my relative's outlook and behaviour is driven from a place of stigma, lack of awareness, or they are stuck in denial about having an Autistic relative - for some reason.  Let us say, it is a work in progress!

In any event, if you find that you / your husband have further questions about Autism - I am confident this community forum is a good place to ask. 

The extra thing which makes understanding Autism a bit wider of a subject than people might think at their first thought; is that Autistic people have varied presentations - from one person to another.  That is what can make asking the community so helpful (as opposed to e.g. reading one author's book on Autism etc.).

Absolutely!

No. Sometimes. Depends.

Its a struggle I find, there are not too many places at home which I can properly police, just managed to get exclusive rights to my wardrobe :) I experience something similar with shoes, although its everybody in the house in my case. I usually end up tidying them up but doesn't take long for it to go back to exactly what it looked like before. It reminds me of the Greek myth Sisyphus, pushing the boulder up the hill, almost getting to the top for it roll back down the hill...

I also have a messy family and it takes all my self-control not to lose it all the time. What aggravates me more is that there was a period when my wife suffered from anxiety, one of the symptoms of that was over-excessive cleaning of the house to distract her. My solution to this was to just accept it and do it for her in the hope of keeping her calmer. Now she is better but, as is one of my issues, I'm stuck in these old habits and routines so I still think I need to keep up with this level of cleanliness - which infuriates me when everyone else is now so relaxed about how the house has stuff literally everywhere!  

My bookshelves are always well-ordered, I find consolation in that. If I try to tidy anyone else's things up I invariably get scolded, so I do not. I occasionally explode about the piles of random things, like footwear in the hall (how anyone not a centipede needs as many shoes and boots as my daughter, I fail to understand), but it has no effect.

I'm autistic and disorganised and untidy

I"try" to be and do enjoy organising and tidying things up but I'm not always neat and organised, I try but it doesn't always work out and over time my room will begin to get in such a mess that eventually normally on a Saturday or Sunday I blitz it and go on this massive clean up operation.

The only thing that I manage to keep neat and organised are my books and CDs. Both are sort of prized items I own and I am very OCD about them being neat and organised.

Since I was little I have always been an organised person and liked things neat. My parents both remember me always placing my toys neatly and in order, I would keep colouring pens in a straight line and I was forever making sure my clothes were neatly folded. I'm still like it now with my items, I always try to keep eveyrthing organised though it doesn't always happen.

To answer this, I'd like to present me and my daughter, both autistic and both on opposite ends of this tidiness scale.

For me, I have always been very organised, not obsessively but even as a child I always kept my room neat and knew where everything was. Nowadays with my own family, I'm the only family member who always knows where my possessions are - keys, wallet, phone, stuff like that - because I have a system where things go and that's where they could only ever be. The number of times my wife or kids always complain they lose things and then ignore me when I say just keep them in one logical place utterly confounds me. House keys, in particular, no-one but me can seem to remember that keys go on the "key rack" (clue is in the name!)

As for my daughter, me and my wife almost always give up getting her to tidy it because it is futile. I'm sure she has her own system like me, but to most people it is just chaos, with clothes (clean or dirty) all over the floor, and all sorts of stuff piled up, with so little actual floor space left it's hard to actually move around in it. We hire cleaners for our house and we always tell them to ignore her room, it would be impossible to manage. I believe her thinking is that cleaning is boring (not wrong) and she could actually be doing far more interesting things like reading, which she loves, so she chooses that instead. I think she has an avoidance problem, because she will happily put off anything if she thinks it's not important. 

So hopefully that explains it - it depends 

I like order and neatness, to my level (-in other words, things in a place that I know and makes sense to me!). I am not lazy or messy, but I do have a HUGE problem with the level of task....if something mounts up to look, at large, like a big issue then I have trouble with getting over the starting to tackle it...once I, literally, start the task I am able to continue to finish it....Not sure why I can not get over that process(??)

I can relate to this Martin! Unfortunately eventually it bugs me too much and I have to sort it

Many autistic people have an executive disfunction, but not all. If I have enough time and peace, I can make my house spotless. But if it’s all chaotic around, I get stuck and feel like I can’t move with it. Sometimes I feel down and have no energy, feel like my body is wrong or made out of gel. Then I won’t do anything. Generally It’s a stereotype and I wouldn’t assess anyone wether they are autistic or not just on a single criteria like this one here. If your husband thinks he is autistic, it’s good to look into it, he may get tested or test himself online first to see how strong are his traits etc. there are tests like AQ50, RAADS, aspie quiz, catq, read mind in the eyes etc. results of these tests together may give some wider picture. But most definitive is just the diagnostic process. If needed and possible. 

good grife no. Some of the messyest people in the world. If every thing has to have a proper place you can never 'clean up' like most people do. Shuveling things in draws etc because you are in a rush. A lot of autistic people are more upset by something put away in the wrong place than left out.

I've known a few people who's parents had cleaners in when they were kids, they're the messiest and often dirtest people I've ever come across, cleaning and tidying are always someone elses problem and I don't think they ever learned how to do it.

I think there are many aspects to people being tidy, clean and organised, depression can make people not care about their surrondings and sap any energy towards doing so. But some people are just plain lazy and think they're above such mundane tasks.

Beware anyone who makes definitive statements about all autistic people, they will invariably be wrong. Autism is a spectrum, so a wide variety of behaviours are found among autists, some will be contradictory. Personally, I like things to be neat and tidy, but in practice I am disinclined to clear up other family member's mess, so the house remains horribly untidy. 

Me too

I find the whole voting up & down, points to profile awarded, percentage / pseudo competitive presentation of activity ranking on the forum is off-putting.  

I wish there were an "opt out" setting on our profile / account - to at least not see those metrics on our account / profile (I have not found a setting option like that thst idea).

Definitely not. My home is chaotic. I do also have ADHD so it may be more to do with that. I will have random days where I have to get everything neat and tidied and if I'm particularly anxious I will go into organising mode.

Hey everyone 

I just read about the voting thing you speak of. I have no idea how I did it if I did or what it meant. I apologise if I did anything to make anyone feel bad and this would never be my intention. 
Seems like a silly thing to have on here, surely if a post is liked by others they will join in and say so and equally if they found anything upsetting they would let them know. 

Oh is that how it works, what a stupid system!, I up vote when it's something I particularly agree with and don't feel I can add anything too and down vote something I really disagree with but dosen't warrent reported to a moderator and that I don't want to get into with someone.

I’ll upvote your upvote on upvoting!