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Dealing with apologies

Iain

How do you deal with situations where you have have made a mistake or caused a situation resulting in someone getting upset?

Also, what about situations where someone has become upset about something that you don't think is a problem.

For example I'm renovating my apartment and have all the approvals and permits in place for making noise during working hours but I still get one neighbour regularly banging on my door complaining about how I am ruining her life with the noise.

I'll typically say I'm sorry you are upset but I have a right to do what I'm doing and won't be stopping.

I did offer to agree time windows when I don't make noise (eg I can focus on painting, cleaning etc) but I got the response that I should just stop because it upset her.

Any opinions on how I should respond?

  • I think you've responded in the only way you reasonable can, you do have a right to upgrade your property and to work within the time limits of local bylaws. COuld you offer her a pair of noise cancelling headphones or the sort of headphones that pick up the tv signal so she can still hear her programs if thats whats bothering her?

    It's always awkward to be in this situation, whether you're the one causing it or being upset by it.

    I often genuinely don't know what I've done to upset someone and I often still don't undersand when it's been explained to me, so my usual respnse is something alone the lines of 'I'm sorry you  feel that way, but..' I'mm also often in the situation of being the one upset by things other's don't think are a problem and that feels pretty unresolvable, as I still feel upset and often belittled and ganged up on too and they carry on regardless.