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Help with hair washing sensitivity

crazydarkside

Hi,

I have a 12 yr old with pronounced Aspergers, OCD and clinical depression.  He has always been reluctant to wash, esp his hair, and has recently verbalised that he finds it very incomfortable, as it is heavy and he doesn't like the feeling.  He won't get in the bath, and he won't wash it himself.  I put the shower on really soft, and not too warm or cold, and only use shampoo he has chosen, so he likes the smell  We are waiting for an occupational therapy appt to check his sensitivities.  Any suggestions??

  • 100acrewood,  You my friend are probably a genius,, He love fish and snorkelling.  He was so busy watching the fish he forgot to moan, and we have clean hair for the first time in a while!!  It may not work every time but it did this time!!!!!!!!

    THANK YOULaughing

  • May only work for my boy but one suggestion. he absoutely hates hair washing and showers. So I invested in 2 things.   1. A pair of 360 goggles. The ones that look like you use with snorkles. 2. Robo fish.   the bath is full as I dare. Water completely Clear of any "bits" Then robotise are thrown IN. Over time when left alone he will put his head under water with the goggles on to watch the fish. Goggles stay on when soap applied and the he does the same Again. Great distraction...... 

  • Well that made me giggle kittykat!!!  I often struggle to explain to my parents why my monster likes bowling, and the cinemas, but the sound of a felt tip pen on paper drives him completely insane!!  Mind you he will try to use the sensitivity issues to his advantage, he hates washing his hands after using the bathroom, because it takes time away from his laptop, so his latest one, was that he couldn't wash his hands as the water hurt!  When I explained, plainly that he needed to wash his hands after going to the toilet to get rid of germs, he said ok and wondered off to his bedroom, without washing them.  When I asked where he was going, he looked at me grinned and said, that I hadn't stated that he needed to wash his hands each and every time he went to the toilet, so as long as he washed his hands sometimes, this would be ok.Needless to say he got marched back in to the bathroom.  In front of a giggling mum.  Loopholes, I will learn to close them eventually!!!!

  • crazydarkside said:

     I never realised how many of his problems were related to sensory problems especially at school.  I feel like I have been walking around completely oblivious to the world he lives in despite being right along with him!!

    You could have taken these words out of my mouth.  I've known about the issue with clothes for ages but I can't believe she coped all the way through her primary school years without my realising how bad the issue with noise and light is.  We didn't make it to the seaside yesterday, she had a meltdown on the station platform as it filled up with what seemed hundreds of screaming kids and when the train came, it was so full, she couldn't get on it.  Thankfully the kind ticket officer refunded our money so we went off bowling instead which was difficult to explain to my son as to why that noise was tolerable!

  • I didn't realize until we moved from a house with a bath to a house with a shower only, how much my sons sensory issues afftected him. He screamed the house down when he had a shower. He later managed to verbalize that the water hurt him like darts. He hated strip washing and especially the feel of water drying on his skin.

    The bath we had before was ideal. he could lay back after i washed his hair and I could gently pour the water from a plastic beaker over his head to rinse it. 

    The upshot was that we had to get rid of the shower where we live now and replace it with a corner bath for him. He still has to be prompted to bathe and we have to run it for him so he doesn't flood the house, but at least he does bathe now. However without prompting I doubt he'd ever bathe.

    It's difficult also for your lad because he's at that age where he probably doesn't welcome support with bathing even though he needs it.

    If I were you i'd switch from a shower head to a beaker of water. For my son at least it was a sensation he could tollerate better than the power of the shower and a method he still uses today.

    Good Luck

    Coogy xx

  • HI Intenseworld,

    Well that had been my other thought, up until he mentioned that it hurt to wash his hair, I had assumed that he had developed the usual allergy that boys get to water when they hit puberty!! I have joked that because we live in the countryside, what we need at home is a sheep dip, where I can push him in at one end and keep pushing, him under until he bobs up clean at they other end!!  It is very difficult with my monster to know what is genuine and what he is making up to his advantage!!!

  • My 12yo is shy of showering not even to do with sensory issues, she just needs prompting and pushing to do it.  This week it's because of having a cold and all sorts of excuses.

  • I just saw Matt's counsellor at CAMHS who has aspergers herself, and she has hashed out a deal where he starts off washing his hair once a month and then brings it forward, a couple of days each time!! and use dry shampoo in the meantime.  His problem is as well that he wants long floppy hair, but not the work that goes into it.    I am waiting to see the sensory specialist.  I never realised how many of his problems were related to sensory problems especially at school.  I feel like I have been walking around completely oblivious to the world he lives in despite being right along with him!!

  • Just thought of something, keep his hair very short so its easier to clean?  Would leaning over a sink with a jug of water help?  My daugher won't tolerate the shower which I could never understand as she's always been a bit of a water baby however a specialist in sensory issues told me that the shower is too tickly and that's why she doesn't like it.

  • Hi Darkside

    Thanks for your comments on my thread :-)  

    I'm struggling to think of something to suggest.  My daughter has a similar issue with bathing and is stuck in a rigid routine of one bath a week.  We used to live in a house with no heating and in the winter, it was unbearable in the bathroom and she used to swim mid week and shower afterwards to it wasn't too bad but now she rarely swims and teenage hormones means her hair is greasy by day 4.  She once had hysterics because I hadn't rinsed the conditioner off properly and when she got nits, you'd have thought I was murdering her.

    Do you have a routine/bath night sort of thing?  I think I've worked out that part of my daughters issue with leaving the house, is the rigmorole of getting dressed.  She hates clothes (her sensory processing disorder is quite severe) and only has a few things she likes and feels 'comfortable' in.  Last night, we discussed if we should prepare clothes the night before and get dressed in the morning as opposed to just before we're going out to see if that works better.  We're off out today to the seaside for a few hours so fingers crossed she manages to get dressed!