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Book’s to educate

Take5

Hey everyone 

i just wanted to ask if anyone can recommend a book that would give a Nt person a real insight into how a Nd person works? Im wanting my partner to try and make an effort into understanding autism. She has so far managed to avoid this but then has no understanding of anything that presents itself. 
Although this is so that she doesn’t dismiss everything I try to explain to her this is mainly for my son’s benefit. If she continues to avoid trying to understand him I’m sure as he gets older he will resent her for it, I don’t want that for her or him. 

Would be very grateful for your suggestions 

  • in reply to Iain

    Much appreciated Lain. Yes I get that, we have very different ways of understanding. I find it so odd that having been together for so many years how have we avoided this before now. 

  • in reply to Take5
    Take5 said:
    Things have kind of come to a head lately, I think now is a good time for me to ask that she at least make an effort to try and entertain the idea. 

    If things are getting to this stage then it is worth considering couples counselling, using a counsellor or therapist who is well versed in working with neurotypical / neurodiverse relationships.

    I went through a similar thing following my diagnosis and I was recommened to not make the issue all about my autism. While I may have my limitations stemming from autism I also need to put in the effort to understand my parters point of view and try to accept it.

    The relationship needs give and take from both sides for it to work.

    Just sharing my experience in case it is of help.

  • in reply to Iain

    Thank you Lain. 

    I am going to check that out on audible and hopefully pass it on to my partner. 

    Hear what you’re saying about family and lack of understanding or interest, it’s my partner of 27 years who has decided to pretend it doesn’t exist. Things have kind of come to a head lately, I think now is a good time for me to ask that she at least make an effort to try and entertain the idea. 

    Thank you for your response 

  • in reply to Leni

    Hi Leni

    Thank you for the suggestions. I have read both of those and must say Untypical is one of my favourites, it’s probably a good one to start with as well because it’s quite witty and has some humour in there as well. 

    Thanks again 

  • Hi Take5,

    Have you had a look at Untypical by Pete Wharmby or Luke Beardon's Autism in Adults? I think both of these are written almost to help NTs understand autism and might be helpful. Luke's book is pretty short if this seemed a less intimidating way to start reading about this subject, and he's also written about autism in childhood and avoiding anxiety in autistic children. I hope this helps.

  • Take5 said:
    i just wanted to ask if anyone can recommend a book that would give a Nt person a real insight into how a Nd person works?

    I would suggest this tried and tested format:

    Understanding Autism For Dummies - Stephen Shore, Linda G. Rastelli, Temple Grandin (2006)
    ISBN 0764525476

    If provides a simple index for specific bits that they want to look up but realistically I have found the vast majority have a low patience threshold and will not have the patience for a long winded book on the subject.

    I have tried to educate my family on the subject but the best I get is a kind of pained tolerance as if it is uncomfortable for them to know they have a "defective" in the family.

    When I pointed out it is genetic then they shut me down fast and don't want to know more.

    I hope your family are more accepting but I find it helps to have low expectations of success.