If someone told you they thought they might be autistic, what questions would you ask them?

Why not throw the ball back on their court, and ask the asker why they think they might be autistic? Is it things about themselves they have noticed, things other people have said about them? 

read out the questions?

For years I was the same but I would never ask the question for fear of being thought stupid. I think I'm stupid and I don't want it to be confirmed by someone else. I never really knew what was happening in films and I still don't. The same is true of TV series.

I have to read the synopsis before the film so I can follow what is happening.

It's the same with books. I understand all the words. I just can't figure out what's happening except for simple sentences. I lack the ability to "read between the lines." I've read Steinbeck, F. Scott Fitzgerald, J. D. Salinger, Styron et al all without understanding what's going on. It's very frustrating. Like you, I rarely read novels these days.

I've discovered I'm a slow learner. This makes reading technical material difficult for me. In order to find out what's happening I have to read the passage multiple times. Even then it's hit and miss.

I rarely read novels, but what I had problems with are movies. I usually ask “stupid” questions and others get annoyed and amazed, I hear “but you are intelligent, how is it possible that you ask such a stupid question?!” How is it possible that I don’t understand the character’s intentions. I’m not sure if it counts here. I also don’t often watch movies for various reasons 

Hi Oran, I know what you mean. I read out the AQ50 questions for my partner and scored him on his answers, but it's probably too long for you to do that with your father. 

The AQ 10 is used by professionals as a screening tool for further assessment, so perhaps you could ask him a few of those, such as:

Do you often notice small sounds when others do not?

Do you find it easy to "read between the lines" when someone is talking to you?

Do you usually concentrate more on the whole picture, or on the small details?

Do you know how to tell if someone listening to you is getting bored?

Do you find it easy to do more than one thing at once?

Do you find it easy to work out what someone is thinking or feeling just by looking at their face?

If there is an interruption, can you switch back to what you were doing very quickly?I

Do you like to collect information about categories of things?

Do you find it difficult to work out people’s intentions?

I left out question 2 about working out the character's intentions when reading a book, as not everyone reads novels and I found it hard to answer as it's not something I had even thought of doing!

I'm sure you know which answers to each would suggest autism - any questions, let me know.

Oran G. Utan said:

That's why I wonder what would be conversational ways to find signs of neurodivergency in adults. Not to a "Yes you are/No you're not" result of course, because as you say, there's no way to be that certain. I know a  few people who think they might be neurodivergent, but would find taking tests challenging due to personal or environmental difficulties. My two best friends, one who thinks she might have ADD, and another who shows signs of autism, are generally very untrusting. And very American. Neither can really afford to get tested. Which is why I feel a diagnosed ND person like myself whom they do trust might at least be able to give them some peace of mind if I knew what to look for, in what short amount of patience I could squeeze out of them

The best suggestion I can offer would also be for them to take some simple tests.

Keeping in mind your further explanation above, including that you're considering helping them with this, perhaps it might be an idea (given the attention constraints you mentioned) to spread the tests out, over time, breaking them down into maybe just a couple of questions at a time. It doesn't all need to be done in one go.

You could still ask these in a conversational way, working towards settling on an answer that you can then record against that particular question.

There are both shorter and longer versions of the standard screening questionnaires for both autism and ADHD, so you could perhaps just start with the shorter ones.

Autism: AQ-10 and AQ (10 and 50 questions respectively)

ADHD: ASRS-5 and ASRS-v1.1 (6 and 18 questions respectively)  

In respect of autism, you could also discuss some of the signs that are explained here:

NAS - Signs that a child or adult may be autistic (specifically, signs related to the core characteristics)

Fair. Though, if I were to use my father as an example again, he's barely literate and has hardly the time to visit the doctor over known health conditions. So he's unlikely to take time out of his day to take tests, especially when he's been told a diagnosis wouldn't entitle him to anything. I'm sure there are others like that who need some assurance that taking time out of their busy schedules to take tests would be worth it.

That's why I wonder what would be conversational ways to find signs of neurodivergency in adults. Not to a "Yes you are/No you're not" result of course, because as you say, there's no way to be that certain. I know a  few people who think they might be neurodivergent, but would find taking tests challenging due to personal or environmental difficulties. My two best friends, one who thinks she might have ADD, and another who shows signs of autism, are generally very untrusting. And very American. Neither can really afford to get tested. Which is why I feel a diagnosed ND person like myself whom they do trust might at least be able to give them some peace of mind if I knew what to look for, in what short amount of patience I could squeeze out of them

I believe we’re motivated differently from what’s Typical. Social programming for start, which might provide an observational approach to the world. Less ability to desensitise, which is profoundly impacted by a world that’s increasingly deafening and blinding (but does this matter if your age is doing the same?)

But if you’re not struggling with being misheard by medical professionals or social authorities, and you were helped in youth to navigate society and assert boundaries, then maybe it’s not necessary. But I recently read sepsis cases are higher for us and our biological differences are less understood. I’m an advocate for these things when it’s a matter of health and safety first. 

I would just say take some autism tests. The level of variation between autistic people is so vast that pinning anyone down as autistic through a small number of questions is not realistic. For example, except when very stressed by something, I tend to sleep from about 10:30pm to 6:00am each night, I am a diagnosed autistic, while my allistic wife has always had appallingly bad sleep and attends a sleep clinic.