I’ve been thinking about writing this post for quite some time and I finally found an energy to collect my thoughts. It’s about lightbulb moments.
I’m curious, how many of us had such lightbulb moments. if anyone wants to share their story, can do it here. Quite several times in my life I met people, who were autistic. I knew that because they told me or they didn’t but after my realisation I figured out they must have been autistic. There was one manager at work, in McDonald’s, she was very much like me, we both could work next to each other and get deeply absorbed by our tasks, no small talk or gossips and she also had stims, not quite same as mine but I saw her rocking for example. I also met one other colleague, his special interest was Japanese, mine was Russian. Our talk usually looked like we both translated the same words to the languages and had fun. Others laughed at him that he is obsessed with Japanese. For me he was more normal than all the others and I liked spending break with him. There was also a colleague in the college, who had issues making eye contact and looks like he felt safe asking questions only to me because I also don’t keep eye contact and I never judged or commented him, walking around with his safe friend for example or disappearing. In fact I didn’t have any safe friend at that time but I wished I had and again - others laughed, that he is weird and I couldn’t understand why they thought that he was weird. To me his behavior was absolutely normal.
there was also a tv documentary about a single mother raising her autistic son. He had autism level 3, and was intellectually disabled. What hit me, were his meltdowns. These triggers and his behavior which he couldn’t control. It gave me a weird feeling, that he is very similar to me in this matter. Now I wish I could meet some of those people, but I’m not in touch with them anymore.
There was also a boy in McDonald’s, he hardly ever spoke and it was known to everyone that he is autistic. Others didn’t want to sit next to him in the room, because he didn’t talk and was “weird” for me sitting next to him was actually pleasant and relaxing, because I didn’t have to mask, didn’t have to pretend that I enjoy small talk. Could just dive deep into my thoughts and fully enjoy my break while not feeling lonely. They also laughed that whatever he did, he did very accurately and carefully. This one for me is also something normal and not funny at all. I even asked them why they are laughing, asked my colleagues to stop. The result was that they also started laughing at me and I got called a weirdo. That’s all I currently remember. I wish all a good day/night/evening, whatever time zone you are living in.
