I am just thinking about why we have anxiety, and at its simplist level the reason seems to be because we are having to conform to social norms. If no one cares what you did or didn't do, would you suffer from anxiety? If at some level you didn't care, would you be anxious.
I also think that some of the behaviour we see in children that seem controlling, ie not eating certain foods, avoiding things, gives them a sense of control over their environment and can reduce their anxiety, if it is not made to be the focal point that needs correcting, would the intensity diminish naturally? . In other words it is the one thing that they have found that they have control over. It has become a source of comfort, which may explain why they will not give it up easily.
Rather than focusing our attention on eliminating the behaviour that is working at some level for our child, should we not instead give them a different focal point that they can control, and maybe their need to engage in the less desirable behaviour will diminish.
Also I wonder if these behaviours are driven by an innate drive for independence that all children are driven to, a genetic driving force. Having any level of control is an inbuilt requirement for our survival.
Welcome thoughts on this?
