Published on 12, July, 2020
So, my sister is autistic and she has a Marks and Spencer nightie that my mother gave her to use as a blankie when she was a toddler. It is now many years old and falling apart. I bought her a new and different blankie, but she says she doesn't like it much because its not the same. She doesn't use the replacement and is still using the old one. But, it is continuing to fall apart and I am worried it will soon be a pile of rags which she will be unable to use. She is going through a tough time right now. She is suffering with a lot of health issues, and it is all causing her so much stress. The blankie gives her quite a bit of comfort and eases her stress. I am worried if her blankie does fall apart completely she will have a meltdown and be completely unable to cope with anything. I know this is a long shot but....Does anyone have any ideas on what to do? Does anyone know if it's reparable? Does anyone know where I might find another one?
Here is a picture of it.
indeed what ever you do you really need to warn her ahead of time or she'll freak out.
Exactly my sentiments!!
PREACH ! Wisdom.
I would say do nothing and let it age organically. It's not hurting anyone as it is! She will age along with it, accordingly. Let it be her that is in control - we have been given so little of that.
If she is fine with it as is leave it be! This is what I would have wished for my own beloved comfort objects.
Yeah I think it's very important to include what her sister wants for her blankie. Otherwise if the blankie is sent somewhere and changed suddenly, it might cause a meltdown because it's not the same as before.
I also agree that it would be nice if her sister learned to mend her own blankie, and perhaps choose a backing fabric for it. It'll be a nice way to take care of the blankie, so that it can last many more years.
A blankie is, by definition ,a VERY VERY personal object. Because of this, I would proceed with extreme care if you are intending to change ANYTHING about this important object/artifact.
I could envisage a circumstance by which it's wear and "untouchedness by others" is just as important as the precise feel of "just-one-small-patch" of it, or the smell, or the rips etc etc
Just my cautionary opinion, sent with the intent to help, fwiw.
That's such a lovely story about Eeyore!
Ship of theseus. repair and patch it. I'm sure you could get a profesional to do it for you but that would involve getting it off her for a whole day / night. Still it'll look a lot more 'natural' if you let a pro do it.
I'd suggest repairing it too or sewing it onto a backing fabric, maybe similar to the one it's made from, could your sister do this herself, maybe with some help? At least then she'd feel she has some control, especially if she could choose a backing fabic?
Are there an crafting groups she could go to where there would be people who would be happy to help her learn to mend it?
If you learn some basic sewing skills, it could be repaired to some degree. I do a lot of handsewing. There are fabric glues you could use as well, but I'm not sure about how they feel after they dry, or the durability of them. If you handsew, the thread is soft and it'll last longer.
I'd suggest buying cheap sewing needles, black thread, and some sewing pins.
Some stitches you could learn are:
The running stitch.
The overcast stitch.
The blanket stitch.
There's a lot of sewing tutorials online. I'd suggest learning about how to sew up a hole in a shirt, how to hem (the bottom edge of the shirt needs a new hem), and for the arm holes and neckline, you could probably use the blanket stitch to stop it from fraying.
Hi Alfi!
Do you know what it is particularly that makes the blanket special for your sister? Eg is it the smell, the texture of the fabric, the elephants? It may be all of those combined but if it’s a particular thing that you can identify it might help to find a creative solution.
I got very upset when my favourite mug got broken. I liked the feel of it and I liked that it had Eeyore on it.
My partner got me a new mug and it wasn’t the same so it wasn’t as good, but along with it he got me an Eeyore soft toy and we created this story that the mug was an egg and it didn’t break - it hatched! And the Eeyore soft toy was born. (I’m aware this wasn’t true and it would have felt patronising to me if someone else had suggested it, but my partner knows me well and pitched the story in a way that was so cute that despite being an adult I almost bought into it! And it made me feel better.) So a new blanket accompanied by an elephant soft toy might be an option (if she’s particularly attached to the elephants.)
If it’s the texture and smell that she’s attached too, I wonder if you could look into finding someone with a sewing machine who might be able to help you make a new blanket out of the already existing material. This is tricky because she may really not like the idea of it being chopped up. I would really struggle with that. But it’s worth thinking about in case she would like the idea of a new blanket that has her old blanket as part of it.
Whats also worked for me: I knew my old comfort blanket was falling apart. So it became my “special blanket” which I only used when I “really needed it” because I knew that using it more would likely hasten its demise! So I got a similar (but not the same) comfort blanket alongside it which became my regular use one. The old one was elevated to extra special! But at the same time I then became much more used to the new one. And now I find I actually find the newer one more comforting! So the idea of “this isn’t a replacement - this is another one so that we can keep the old blanket extra special for longer” really helped me to transition.
I don’t know if any of this is helpful but thought I’d reply with my blanket-related sensory and attachment experiences for myself in case it helps for your sister.
You’re such a lovely brother - bless your heart!
Take care,
Robyn