Hi everyone,
I've just joined this forum in order to better understand my niece's behaviour. I'll give you a bit of background and hopefully you can help. I have 2 big sisters. My eldest has 2 kids. My nephew is 11 and my niece is 8. My niece has recently been diagnosed as having high functioning autism. She has a mental age of 5 1/2. Generally she is fine and has all the normal fights with her brother Etc. sometimes when she's not too happy I can see when it's her autism and not just her being naughty. It stands out. Other times I think she's being naughty and it's not her autism it's just her being a normal child and needing to be told off.
My parents are very supportive to my sister and help her when they can but sometimes I don't think she gets told off enough. Everyone in the family puts all her behaviour down to autism and she gets away with a lot. My brother-in-law will tell her off and he takes a telling and generally when he tells her off that's the end of it. My sister tries to be more diplomatic with her and talk to her but sometimes I just think she needs told off.
My wife and I have a 10 month old daughter and when we go round to my parents they enjoy spending time with her. When my sister is there with her kids my nephew loves spending time with her too. My niece did initially but now I think she's not so keen as she is seeing my daughter getting a lot of the attention from my parents. I think this is a normal reaction from a child. My parents or sister don't say anything and I bite my tongue but then she'll start saying things like, "she's making noise and it's annoying me" Again, I think this is a normal reaction from a child but not an acceptable reaction and they should be told so. My parents and sister don't say anything to her and I end up saying something then feeling a bit awkward as I'm the only one who's done so. My wife agrees with me but doesn't feel it's her place to say anything at my families home.
I'd just like a bit of advice to see if what I'm doing is wrong or if there are other ways of dealing with it. I don't want my sister to think that she's a bad parent. It's quite the opposite. She's great with her and so patient but sometimes I think my niece gets away with murder and it's always put down to her autism. Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks