Hmm, am i imagining it?

I think at this point locking the thread is best. I'm going to be communicating with the participants by email. 

Sniffy - I'm sorry for locking the thread and I'd ask that you create another one should you wish to discuss this further. 
 

Thank you, Hotel California, but I'm done here. I get enough poundings at home, I don't need to be in a place where people double down when told they're upsetting me. Some autistic people do it, some don't. Some neurotypical people do it, some don't. Autistic or not, I can't deal with it. I'm already dealing with more than I can handle. I haven't considered suicide for three whole days and I'd like to make it to four, because I have to stay alive to look after my son. Please, no more lectures. I'm out, and I'd like people to respect that. 

As to my son's frankness or correcting people - I would give my left thumb if he could do that. His 'communication style' is echolalia and incoherent shouts, the latter of which have damaged my hearing. If he ever gets to that stage, however, I intend to teach him that if someone says he's upsetting them, reacting by accusing them of being ignorant of autistic styles of communication will get his iPad confiscated for a full day. 

Hi owl ice cream.  Great name by the way.  You may have already come across instances where your child has said something, but it has been misinterpreted and vice versa. Aspies find it very difficult to let incorrect facts go and are compelled to correct.  This sometimes comes across as arrogant or even aggressive.  I assure you it is not the intent, and knowing that their comments have upset you will in some cases be mystifying.

My children can say some very hurtful things to me, but it is always done with good intent in their eyes.  They find lying an very difficult concept to grasp, so frankness can be misconstrued.

On the whole I have found many aspies on this site to be a source of great knowledge so  don't be offended when you are corrected, it isn't done out of malice.

Ps.  I am an NT with two aspie children.

?

Yep, I definitely won't be commenting here again. 

I would have hoped that anyone visiting an autism forum, bearing in mind that they would have a connection to autism such as having a child with it, they would have at least a basic awareness of the communication style of people on the spectrum.

When the moderator told me you had complained that I had been "aggressive" (which wasn't the case at all), I replied thus:

"It often puzzles me that people coming on to an autistic forum, who undoubtedly have a connection to autism, would not understand the "without frills" presentation of most autistic people's communication style..."

I haven't condemned you and I cannot see where Hope has either.  You have just been succinctly informed of our opinions.  I haven't mentioned the latest science or accused you of misphrasing.  I merely responded to something you stated.

I would still disagree with your view about borderline autism or some traits, but having that opinion is your prerogative.

BTW I am also a mother of two autistic children with my own stressload as well as being on the spectrum myself.

I think it unwise that we digress from OP's post further.

It was not my intention to trivialise, and I'm sorry if I gave that impression.

When I said 'spectrum', all I meant was a spectrum between autistic and not-autistic. The division isn't always black and white because people can have a mixture of traits or be on the borderline. My point was mostly that if Sniffy did not get a diagnosis of autism, that didn't mean that the issues he/she describes aren't related to his/her son's issues or that they aren't important: maybe Sniffy has some autistic traits and Sniffy's son has them to a greater degree, for instance. Sniffy asked whether his/her imagination might be running wild, and my aim was to reassure him/her that even if a doctor didn't confirm a diagnosis, he/she wasn't being unreasonable to wonder. 

Are you aware that you are both coming across as condemning me? That you both sound rather aggressive? That may not be your intention any more than it was mine to trivialise autism, but it is making me feel like I shouldn't participate in these forums at all. I only joined this morning and I'm the mother of a recently-diagnosed autistic boy, trying to deal with a lot of stress and a lot of new information to learn all at once. I have too much stress in my life to participate here if this is what happens when somebody phrases something incorrectly or is not fully informed about the latest science. 

I agree completely IntenseWorld. This is an important point, and I was thinking more or less the same as you. We are not all on the spectrum; that is like saying we all have OCD or bipolar or depression. We all experience low mood from time to time, we all sometimes have  nagging, intrusive thoughts, but that does not mean we all have a condition! I think to say we all do, trivialises serious and disabling medical conditions, which are caused by faulty/mis-wired/atypical (call it what you will) brains.

It's important that people are not misinformed as it can put people off going to get assessed if they believe misinformation, so what I said was entirely on topic.

And threads evolve and elaborate, I don't think people should be stifled from enlarging on single points in a post, especially where it's highly relevant.

I don't understand what you mean Anil A - Mod?

Fair points made Intenseworld, appreciate that this is a topic you feel strongly about, but just a reminder that tone can be misinterpreted. 

Let's return to the OP.  

@Owl Ice Cream: I don't care what anyone says, professional or otherwise, everyone is not "somewhere on the spectrum".

I even heard a GP say this on Embarrassing Bodies once and it's tripe.  I think what confuses people, is that autistic behaviours are behaviours that can all be found within the population.  Well, of course!  We are all human and all capable of every behaviour or emotion humans can physically/emotionally have.  But autistic behaviours are usually more extreme versions (often atypical) and are often for different reasons.  For instance, Asperger's syndrome is a syndrome because it is a particular collection of traits that exist in a particular way and severity, to be called a syndrome.

There are neurological differences in "brain wiring" in people with autism.  I had a qEEG and my brain differences showed up on the results, which are compared with a normed population.  If the normed population were all on the spectrum they wouldn't have normal results, they would have a variety of variations of autistic results.

It certainly doesn't sound like you're imagining it. It might be that you're high-functioning autistic, or it might be that you don't quite meet the full diagnostic criteria but have some autistic traits; everyone's somewhere on the spectrum, and by you're description you may well be at least closer to the autistic end than average. It does run in families, and if it's sounding familiar to you - well, you know yourself better than anyone else. 

Finding a sympathetic GP might be your best starting point? I think another question to ask might be: what do you most need out of a (potential) diagnosis? Do you need an explanation to settle the nagging sense that something's not right, or do you think you might also benefit from practical help? Both of these are perfectly fair things to want, of course! But being clear in what you're looking for can be useful in navigating the system.

Best of luck to you. :-)

I would get yourself assessed.  I put a thread in the diagnosis forum which has been stickied with all the information.