Saying hello

I hope not..I think you have the advantage that you are well aware of the potential pitfalls..I am pretty new to all this having only really picked up o the signs over the last 4 months or so (dah could kick myself there).

Because you know what issues may arise you are going be on to it quick ..unlike me pitching it in 2 weeks at the end of term lol.

I suppose I expected someone else to comment on my sons behavior but they all kept making excuses for him..he'd been ill..I'd had had a long spell in hossie..etc etc. SO there always seemed to be a reason for him being unsettled to everyone else...I am kicking myself because I knew he wasn't OK but allowed myself to be sent away time and time again with these nagging doubts in my mind.

That's not going to happen to you and you will quickly see what's needed so I am hopeful it won't be as bad.

I know what you mean bout the thrill seekers..it's like they pick the child who is the most capable of winding them into a frenzy(quite innocently on both parts)..but getting them wound down again is not always fun! 

I can see O outside now with his brother and another boy and he is probably upto an 81/2 on the meltdown scale..tried to get him in a couple of times..but I feel mean when he wants to play out...always a tough judgement call. 

Try not to worry (laughs at self there) we had many factors clouding the issues with school this year...you are more knowledgeable than I was ..it will help you all.

Oatie

x

The only phasing in is that they will only go in the mornings for the first 4 weeks and then will go full day but that is the same for every child .. I have asked for the boys to be split in the class to allow them to make seperate friends but my asd one always attracts little boys who are thrill seekers too and he doesnt undertand frienships at all ..he is so vulnerable .. over the summer hols i have enrolled them and their older brother at the local playscheme at the sports centre ..two hours in the morning and two hours in the afternoon to try help him get used to the seperation there..he didnt cope very well when his twin was off for one morning .  

He "coped" well at nursery .in fact they didnt pick up any signs of his asd there ..although i must admit when i secretly watched him he was showing them very clearly ,,so i hope that he copes just as well at school but only time will tell ..as he has no apparent learning disabilities at this time we are hoping that he will remain in mainstream with his twin ..Looks like we are about to go through what you have been through this year  

Yes I found my son's twin brother has helped..even though O is often just mimicking his more social sibling.

Only problem we found with this was that O's twin started to distance himself from his brother a bit at school...because O was getting into a lot of scrapes..the teacher told me that despite this they still stick up for each other a great deal when things get really tough.

We have split the boys up next year to give S a break and try and let O develop some more skills. I cannot say I am completely OK about it but only time will tell and I can see pro's and cons both ways. I think the final straw was when S nearly slpit O's head open with a wooden block..he's reasonable placid but I think it was a case of O's behaviour pushing him a bit too far.

I got some lovely looks in the playground THAT day..one parent said afterwards..'WHat on earth was that all about?!' 'I said it was a case of it all becoming too much and I am at least thankful they hit each other and not someone else's child'...she looked a bit puzzled at that one.

Are your little ones having a phased into  to school..as this helps. Are you allowed to stay with them the first couple of hours to settle them in?

Oatie

x

Hi Oatie , 

Its good to let off steam to someone who is experiencing the same as our family ..I completely agree that you have to make nuisance of yourself ..our gp told us we had a long uphill struggle ..but our local social work dep have helped quite a bit and have arranged quite a few things for us ..so we are waiting for things to start happening with them too ..but I must admit the twins are due to start school in a few weeks time and I dont know if my wee one is going to cope as they havent been too helpful so far in fact he hasnt even spoke to his teacher yet ..but as long as he has his twin who is his support network he should cope the best he can.. 

shirley x

Glad I made a few of you  smile .. I must admit my sense of humour has got me through a lot . Especially when my little runner escapes from the trolley in asda and i sprint away after him and can only catch him due the fact my husband will block off the aisles as he runs down them ..trainers have now become my best footwear .. but the stares we get are classic " i know what i would do if he was mine "..people will never understand until it happens to them ..but he brings so much laughter and humour to or home with the eccentric things he does . He is the youngest of 5 and the rest of the kids absolutely adore him even when he ruins everything in their room .

Keep smiling

shirley x

Hi sanders ,that really made me smile thats the best thing i've heard all day .The thing is your right people are ignorant and "oh but they look so normal ,don't they what a shame".yes good for you ...LOL..... XX.M 

I know SHirley..it's is the same here..I feel like I will implode some days. You get to feel a bit like a ping pong ball being battered to and from professionals.

Glad you have the partnership people on board..they are just the people we need to help us through the jargon and reports.

I think for me one of the hardest things is that whilst we wait for all these mechanisms to kick in our little lad is struggling on the best he can. So that makes me worry about how his view on the world will be coloured by the time people start to take notice and do stuff to help him...sigh.

Sorry I am tired today..both my boys were over wrought when they got home..there were children crying at school cause it's their last day before senior school..hormones could be plucked form the air and they felt the fall out of all these emotions..so it's been a hard few hours after school.

I have a nice day planned for tomorrow to help them (and me) wind down.

Oh an Ed Psychologist spoke to me off the record today ..part of the advice she gave me was 'make a nuisance of yourself and don't give up'.....that's my mantra from now on I think!

Keep posting your helping my sanity.

Oatie

x

We have been referrred to ICS who is our local partnership team by the social work department , which is a great relief as we will be able to talk to local families who are in the same situation as ourselves .. everything moves too slowly for my liking . but i guess there are no miricles   

shirley

OH gawd! You handled that well...I will remember that for next time..good come back...nice one! 

I've mentioned to another couple of school mum's about the possibility of my son having ASD..they didn't seem surprised (I know there have been mutterings in the playgound). To be fair they were really good about it and I am hopeful that if my son does come back with the asd dx some people around school will be prepared to explain to their kids to be more understanding.

Just also wanted to pass on some info. I spoke to my local parent partnership team this week and they were brilliant. They are usually term time so are winding things up now till September but if you need extra support next term I would heartily recommend you speak to them.

The useful thing she did over the phone was give me an idea of how things should work. So if that happens you need this in place etc...it really made it easier for me to know what I should be aiming for.

I am so glad today is the last day at school.

Oaties

x

MY 4 year old is back in his buggy ...and I think putting up with the hurtful comments is part of the process of acceptance to the diagnosis . 4 times in the one week , my son and I bumped into our local lolly pop lady on the way to playscheme . Each time she made comment on how he wouldnt be able to take his buggy to school in august when he starts . On the 4th occasion I finally answered her with " this is the safest way for my son to get around . He has autism " she quickly apologised and said " HE DOESNT LOOK LIKE IT " I was gobsmacked for about 3 seconds in which time i started to laugh and replied " I know hes very handsome isnt he " and walked away shaking my head ..she hasnt spoke to us since .. by motto is laugh it off . People are embarrassed with their own ignorance .

shirley x   

Good afternoon GG,

That was the great thing when I found this forum - knowing that I was not the only person out there having a hard time with ASD issues. You aren't alone on here!

Some people who don't have a great understanding of ASDs can make such hurtful comments and I have found this so very tough at times. I am a polite, sociable person but some of the comments or looks some people give you out and about is annoying and heart-breaking  I am trying to find a balance between thinking 'its your ignorance not mine!' and trying to focus on my kids. So, please don't feel you are alone when others make silly comments. Hey, any tips for handling such people - send them my way...

Hope you have a good day

Catherine

Thanks for your replies Catherine & Catherine.  It's lovely to realise that other folks are in similar situations and understand.

It is really hard to cope some days especially when folks (trying to be kind I think) make comments about how my boys don't "seem" autistic!  It's an easy comment to make when you only see them now & again :-(

Really appreciate you all taking time to get back to me.  Looking forward to getting to know you all.

GG

Hi

My name is Catherine

I have a 10yr old son who has been diagnosed with Aspergers...i some times find it hard

to cope ..but as i try to talk to other people about it they just dismiss it..i have family

support ...but as i'm the mother i feel i'm not doin anything right...i would love to chat

to other people,who know what i'm goin through  and can lend support and hopefully

make new friends...look forward to hearing from people.

                                Thanks Catherine xx

Hi Ginger_Gnome,

Welcome to the board. I am a newbie too. I have 2 children, a 7 year old daughter who is NT and my son who is 2 and a half years old who has a dx of severe autism and hypermobility.

Its a really friendly forum. Also, really cheering to hear about a mainstream school delivering well to young people with autism! Yay.

Have a good day

Catherine

Ahh soft play!!!!.the bain of my life..so many times I have removed my anxious overwrought child from these places..I now avoid them like the plague.

If ever there was a place designed to wind the most placid kid into a frenzy it's these places. Even giving my kid adrenaline is more calming than leaving him to run round a pub with soft play on a  Sunday afternoon.

I have neurological issues myself (non ASD) most days and the noise level makes me nearly fall over with pain..I cannont imagine what it does to a child with sensory issues!

OK rant over..just nice to know I will probably not be alone in feeling this way about those places...nice not to be the only one who can feel this way.

Your poor little one you must be pretty traumatised yourself by that.

x

Thank you for your reply Oatcakes ... waiting for a dx is hard isn't it.  Hope that you don't have much longer to wait and that your son gets all the support he needs.

Thanks too for your understanding about my concerns over the trauma my son has suffered ... he was badly bitten and scratched by another child (he didn't know) his age in a soft play and now he really struggles to interact with children his age ... he's happy to play with his big brothers friends and all his imaginary friends are older.

GG

Hi

Just wanted to welcome you. We are currently awaiting dx for my almost 5yr old son and my partner (39).

I am glad your children are so well supported I hope we can say the same for my son when we finally have some answers.

My son too has suffered a large amount of trauma over the last few years and we are unsure as to whether his behaviour traits are due to that or an undiagnosed ASD. So I get where you are coming from with that.

You will find some lovely people on here and we all help each other..so welcome.

xxx