Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
So my son literally finished primary school today. He's amazing (I know I'm biased). When he started primary school I hadn't been diagnosed but I knew I needed to speak to people to help him get play dates etc. To be honest, I don't think I did a good job, we've just been to the leaving party and we're probably the first to leave as he didn't really have a friend to join in with and I ended up sitting on my own whilst all the other parents sat with each other talking.
I don't want this to happen again for him, I know going to secondary it's more on him but still I worry about how I come across to people as I have no idea what I do wrong and why people don't want to be around me. Any advice or anything gladly received.
Have you spoken to the schools SENCO to try to assess your son for his needs?
It would be really useful to find out if this is the case or if it is something else altogether - best to get a focus now than later if he is failing.
I would also speak to him about it as he may not want to have the label of "special needs" damaging his social standing, and since this is for his benefit then he should be a part of the discussion.
Hi Ian, thank you for your reply. It's actually myself that is diagnosed. My son doesn't have autism. I didn't make that clear. I used to be a senco, which is how I realised I needed help.
Flossianna said:My son doesn't have autism
My mistake, sorry.
Neurodivergence has a high probability of being hereditart (I think approx 80% chance of inheriting it) so I would consider getting your son to perform a test for it (there are plenty of online ones) and look at the scores.
His lack of social connection could be related to this or it could just be that he is shy. I think it worth checking as it will open up more support for him if he is diagnosed.
If he isn't neurodivergent then he should be able to develop his own skills socially quite naturally. I would encourage him into activities that help him build himself physically and possibly engage in team activities (clubs, possibly sports or even dog walking as a side hussle) as thse will give him the opportunity to meet people and connect if it interests him.