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Am I being taken advantage of/ taken over by my parents?

CaliforniaDreamer95
2 months ago

I love my parents to pieces, however, lately, I feel that I am being trapped by them.

I want my own life, home etc. and I am currently unemployed and don't know how to change this.

My Dad has been diagnosed with CLL, a form of incurable blood cancer. To look at him you would think that there is nothing wrong, however he does have mobility issues due to arthritis and effects of medication. I put his bets on at a bookmakers that is easily within walking distance, and get stuff from an off-licence that is 50 feet from our house.

My Mum also has arthritis and a wedge fracture in her spine. I will always help with shopping. I think that I am a soft touch because they are getting on in years and I find it difficult to say no.

I order and collect prescriptions, run errands (Willingly).

Am I being selfish?

Parents
  • 2 months ago

    As much as you understandably love your parents, you didn't choose that kind of life for yourself. Those responsibilities were put onto you, because your parents became dependent on you for their daily tasks due to their medical issues. I can see why you'd feel trapped by this circumstance. It's not an easy life. But I don't think it's selfish that you want your independence and perhaps even your freedom as well. Your day revolves around making sure your parents have everything they need and that they are well cared for, but your own life is also passing you by at the same time. 

    I think that having some kind of employment would be helpful to offset the costs of living, and perhaps to save some money. Even a few hours part-time would be helpful. And because we all have smart phones now, your employer could be notified about your parents having medical conditions, and that you'll need to take personal calls at times. 

    And things like grocery shopping, ordering and collecting prescriptions, and running errands, can be worked around your work schedule, more or less. I wouldn't say that this life would be any better. Unless you can find someone to offset the amount of responsibilities that your parents require of you, then it's going to be hard to work around all these tthings.But I hope the best for you.

Reply
  • 2 months ago

    As much as you understandably love your parents, you didn't choose that kind of life for yourself. Those responsibilities were put onto you, because your parents became dependent on you for their daily tasks due to their medical issues. I can see why you'd feel trapped by this circumstance. It's not an easy life. But I don't think it's selfish that you want your independence and perhaps even your freedom as well. Your day revolves around making sure your parents have everything they need and that they are well cared for, but your own life is also passing you by at the same time. 

    I think that having some kind of employment would be helpful to offset the costs of living, and perhaps to save some money. Even a few hours part-time would be helpful. And because we all have smart phones now, your employer could be notified about your parents having medical conditions, and that you'll need to take personal calls at times. 

    And things like grocery shopping, ordering and collecting prescriptions, and running errands, can be worked around your work schedule, more or less. I wouldn't say that this life would be any better. Unless you can find someone to offset the amount of responsibilities that your parents require of you, then it's going to be hard to work around all these tthings.But I hope the best for you.

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