Mentoring advice

IrishInManchesterUK said:

are obsessed with “their way as being the only correct way” and point blank refuse to listen to nor really understand what we as autistic people want and/or need, because they believe that they alone know what’s best for us,

I agree with this - autists tend to have fairly rigid moral compasses and also many lack empathy for other perspectives which compounds the issue.

It is our place as mentors to encourage them to make the effort to at least consider the perspective of others, even when this may not be the doctrine that the people who "hired" us want us to portray.

There are a lot of religious schools where I am and they are not very progressive so we have to take great care in what we are allowed to say is acceptable. This is why I have the coffee shop sessions where all discussions are fair game.

Organised religion is still one of my pet hates but I do it for the people I can help rather than the organisation behind it.

I hope that more and more people who openly identify as autistic are known in the community and the stigma that goes with is is steadily washed away.

My initial thoughts about this are that so many people when concerning Autism and mental health issues in general is that so many people in wider society, given the NAS survey that I just completed, not only are obsessed with “their way as being the only correct way” and point blank refuse to listen to nor really understand what we as autistic people want and/or need, because they believe that they alone know what’s best for us, a similar struggle with the early struggles of LGBT people - most people cling to traditional approaches of dealing with mental health issues in general and autism in particular, totally ignoring the newer autism research from Australia - many people of the traditional mindset believe that people with autism must never be allowed to live alone without a live in carer or mentor and that the only way to manage autism is by means of ultra strict discipline (stricter even than for children) and they believe that the Catholic Religious orders of priests and nuns should take over this role, ideally in a Catholic religious setting and they further believe and maintain that any other view is dismissed by them as “nonsense” 

Oh and on careers, this is much better handled one-on-one as you need to build up a picture of what they like (especially special interests), what they are intolerant of and what could work based on their location and other needs.

I've got a whole autists getting a career document that I use to point them in the right direction - I tend to use if just for reference but can flesh it out to pass on if you need it - see if the program have their own version first as this would be what they want you to use.

NAS87756 said:

I hope this post is allowed, but of course, admin please delete if not.

I think you are fine - there is no personal info or  solicitations to do anything, just a request for advice which is OK.

It would be useful to summarise what experience and abilities you have to offer as this will inform you what are areas you actually know enough to offer advice on.

Next I would book some time with the uni to work with them through their requirements and see where there is a match with your knowledge / skills. There will be grey areas that you need to go and read up on / ask others about to give a more complete understanding of your field.

Make sure you understand what the group is offering - this can be very specific and you need to know what is acceptable to cover and what isn't. For example you will inevitably get questions on relationships, sex and substance abuse and these are minefields where you may want to offer solid practical advice, but the program may have a position where this is considered inappropriate.

Now you should have a much clearer idea what you will be covering - time to go and fill in the new gaps you discover.

Then when you get to the schools you need to speak to the people in charge of running the program and get their direction too - there may be times when the group and the school have a communication mismatch and the school will always have the final say.

Now you may actually get to see the students.

Following introducing yourself and getting their names, give them an overview of what you are going to be doing with them. Ask them what they want covered and if there any areas you have been told to avoid then tell the students to speak to the teachers in charge as it is not your position to cover it.

I expect you will have a small group (after all autists are only 1-3% of the population) so it should be a fairly cosy session. Just make sure to ask for any triggers from the students before you start. Chalk on blackboards, smelly market pens on whiteboards, bright screens etc can all be triggers and should be avoided if asked for.

Now getting to the good stuff.

Lay out your agenda - what will be covered on what dates. Ask them for areas they want to know more on and prepare additional material for that if needed. Don't be put off if any of them just say "whatever" and don't engage - make the sessions work for those who want it.

I cover students between 16 and 18 who are loading school to go into the wider world, whether further education or work (or staying at home in some cases) - I do this in Brazil so the material won't be of much use but I try to cover:

1 - you will feel more isolated when your friends move on. This is normal so make sure you have a support mechanism in place to help you through it. I offer an "alumni" type service where I meet up with older students in a quiet coffee shop on agreed dates so they can give feedback and I can give a little extra support.

2 - Going to work is likely to be tough. It is the same for everybody but autists have an extra hard time. I offer advice on how to communicate this with employers, how to find ways to manage anxiety and communicate when they feel meltdowns coming. Finding employers can be really tough so I offer a meeting with any prospective employer to help them understand the risks are low if engaged with properly and they can actually get a lot out of an autist if they understand their abilities better.

A brief talk on the way salaries, taxes, holidays, training, promotions and all the other work shizzle works if mostly in printed format (for later reference) but I take questions on it too so they can be confident in their understanding of it).

3 - I talk about practicalities such as personal hygine, clean clothes and dressing appropriately for work - sounds simple but a lot find this is never explained to them.

4 - With further education there are limited support opions available here and the charity I help will put the students in contact with their counterparts in universities if ther exist.

My part here is to explain about how the transition from structured high school to much less structured uni can be a challenge - self motivation needs a bunch of tools and often support too. Explaining what they will face and giving them a few tools to manage the worst of it helps them build confidence in the unknown that I wish I had when I was off to uni.

5 - Driving in my city (Sao Paulo) is a nightmare even for an experienced driver so I tend to advise the students to avoid this unless they really need it, and then get them an autism friendly instructor. Networking really helps to find these.

There is a lot more we can cover but this takes up most of the time and I offer the coffee shop meetups outside to give an extra half day once a month. It helps they do great cake there so it keeps me motivated. It also provides an outside venue for the questions I cannot answer in class.

Let me know if you have any more questions once you have spoken to the program co-ordinator and I'll do my best to answer them.