does anyone else experience thoughts in what I can attempt to describe by comparing to a web? I am wondering if anyone knows of any software that can help me to get my thoughts down and make sense of them.
it could be possible that my thoughts seem more of a tangled web when I am feeling bad. When I am feeling good, my thoughts dont seem troubling.
Right now, and often times when I feel stressed, my thoughts (or at least I notice that my thoughts) feel incomplete. like lots of thought loops that get forgotten and remembered in different parts. Like, the reason I feel bad is obscure but occasionally I remember hints and I wish I could make sense of it all. the smaller thought loops join together to become a part of bigger thought loops, and there are different levels of thought loops. they can be categorised by different things such as urgency, importance, emotional attachment, etc.
often my thoughts are not in words. I do not have an inner monologue which I heard that lots of people have. my thoughts are more like concepts... often paired with a feeling or memory. I wonder if this is one of the reasons I find it hard to communicate socially, because the thoughts I have are not really in words, so its a lot harder to try to come up with words on the spot to join in a conversation.
I wish there were a software or a technique that could be done on pen and paper, that can help people like me to make sense of their thoughts and mind state. something like a visual network type diagram where I can plot down the different thought loops and different levels, with the ability to make connections between one another when I need to. the problem is, I think it would need to be beyond 2 dimensions, if that makes sense? either that or I just cant wrap my head around visualising this software until I see it. I do find it hard to imagine things before having seen them, but I also feel like the thoughts can get so complex into a web which seems multidimensional, and im not sure what kind software could be used to log and track such complex ideas. I call them complex ideas because of the way that the thoughts are interconnected, but I am referring more to the complexity of interconnectedness than the actual thoughts themselves.
I am just explaining it to see if anyone else has a similar experience with their thoughts? or to see if anyone knows of a software or trick that can help to decipher the thoughts?
I just want to know how I am feeling and what my problem is. thanks