how do i control my behaviour and stop hurting those i care about???

I don't like other peoples' emotional facial expressions, it's just too much input for my brain and it wants to shut down, thjerefore avoiding looking at them is far easier.  I think if I trust them and am having my own conversation with them it's OK, but my brain is always cognitively processing and it's very exhausting.

I find very visible demonstrations of emotion in others very stressful.  I find subtle expressions and tones of voice impossible.

It's not that I can't look people in the eye, it's just that frequently it can be too uncomfortable and I think there is also a self-protectionism going on too.  I don't want them to look at my eyes, although I couldn't explain why.  I remember feeling very invaded as a child when anyone, even siblings looked at me.  I loathed and detested it.

@Longman I think the reason comedians help, is that despite what they say about us not understanding humour, we can be very quick-witted and our take on life can be very funny.  So we can translate that into a tongue-in-cheek way of presenting ourselves to deflect from the difficulties of doing it seriously.

Sorry OP, that didn't answer your question.  I think perhaps trying to speak up about what is difficult for you and why, may hopefully help people to avoid triggering negative reactions?  I don't know what else to suggest.  It's all about autism awareness from others.

I don't like other peoples' emotional facial expressions, it's just too much input for my brain and it wants to shut down, thjerefore avoiding looking at them is far easier.  I think if I trust them and am having my own conversation with them it's OK, but my brain is always cognitively processing and it's very exhausting.

I find very visible demonstrations of emotion in others very stressful.  I find subtle expressions and tones of voice impossible.

It's not that I can't look people in the eye, it's just that frequently it can be too uncomfortable and I think there is also a self-protectionism going on too.  I don't want them to look at my eyes, although I couldn't explain why.  I remember feeling very invaded as a child when anyone, even siblings looked at me.  I loathed and detested it.

@Longman I think the reason comedians help, is that despite what they say about us not understanding humour, we can be very quick-witted and our take on life can be very funny.  So we can translate that into a tongue-in-cheek way of presenting ourselves to deflect from the difficulties of doing it seriously.

Sorry OP, that didn't answer your question.  I think perhaps trying to speak up about what is difficult for you and why, may hopefully help people to avoid triggering negative reactions?  I don't know what else to suggest.  It's all about autism awareness from others.