Published on 12, July, 2020
Lately I've felt like I don't fit. Like I don't struggle enough to be considered autistic. I do struggle, of course. I probably struggle more than neurotypicals do. And I know that being autistic isn't only about struggling. But sometimes it feels like I am faking it. Like it's just another mask that I put on. These sentences are so hard to write. It's like trying to catch a specific snowflake in the blizzard that is my brain. So I'll just stop here. Have you ever felt this way?
I have not read all of this thread and can't afford the time right now, but yeah, me too.
Thanks to teh stirling work you guys below also put into the ADD Autism thread a few days back I understand myself a lot more.
All natural things seem to "wax and wane". Autsm is the same. Add is the same. Totally faking "normality" is like holding back a pressure, and can be done for varyng lengths of time, depending on the circumstances.
As a child between 6 and 16 when my sucess at that task was measured in intervals between outbreaks of viiolent "correction" my personal best was two weeks. Under less strngent examination and in a situation where I am regularly removed (like work) I believe I can manage longer periods until I get discovered and punished for being me.
I Sperg said:I have not read all of this thread and can't afford the time right now, but yeah, me too.
Me three. A lot.