Published on 12, July, 2020
Title.
I'm really struggling at the moment with my GCSEs coming up. I've been doing my best in class but I really struggle due to my various conditions (AuDHD, chronic pain, anxiety, etc) to stay in there. I've been put on independent study in my school's SENCO building but I'm struggling to self-motivate because I'm struggling to care about what I'm studying. I love learning and I have nigh encyclopedic knowledge of my special interests. I'm struggling the most with English, which is ironic considering it's the one subject I'm allegedly "naturally gifted" at. I know that I can do what is asked of me, I wrote essays for fun during Covid about anything and everything and I'm currently writing a video essay that I hope to put on YouTube, but I'm struggling massively because I simply do not care about the material provided.
An Inspector Calls, for example -- I'm struggling with the character analysis because every single character is so bare-bones and stereotypical that they annoy me, as well as the fact that I've heard every single aspect of their characters regurgitated at me dozens of times that I'm now sick of hearing it. I can analyse characters just fine, I frequently go on long tangents about this sort of thing when it's related to my favourites. I know that I could easily get a Grade 9 essay if I was able to write about the intricacies of, for example, Thancred's character arc in Final Fantasy XIV. I understand why I can't but it is still so frustrating. I only need to pass my GCSEs to get onto the course I want (5 exams with at least grade 4), but my work in English feels inadequate. It's the unfortunate leftover of my primary school hailing me as an English "prodigy" -- I burned myself out once the work stopped being too easy for me, which I now realise is because of my autism.
Does anyone have any tips on making this process bearable? Because revision is all I can do from now until my GCSEs start anyway even though I'd rather use my time to read my book, since I know I'll pass anyway even if the essay is the worst thing I will ever write. No "autism advice for teens" sites have anything close to what I'm asking.
(Apologies for putting up two threads within an hour of each other, this was the question I joined this forum to ask!)
spiritedmagus said:I'm struggling to self-motivate because I'm struggling to care about what I'm studying
This is a pretty big life lesson and one for which there is no easy answer to I'm afraid.
You will get this time and again through your life, whether it be studying something new at work, some project you need to do to your home, an issue for your partner or family or even just doing your tax returns.
I hate doing these things but found for many decades that if you don't find a way to do it then you get left in the dust or the implications are dire (in the case of tax).
My solution was to set a period of time aside for it, gather everything needed and close myself away from the outside world without any possible distractions and I could only get out once i was done.
That was how I got through over 20 Microsoft qualifications and a load more technical exams to keep my skills relevant, how I tackled big projects (like moving to a foreign country with a new job without help) and a load more things where the subject matter was boring me to death.
The only way out is through it - once you learn a process that works for you then you know what to expect and how to cope and the anxiety lowers, making it less of a pain and more of a slog.
If your ADHD is really holding you back then have you considered some medication? I believe it is one of the neurodiverse "conditions" that responds well to drugs (the ones prescribed by a specialist doctor, not your neighbourhood dealer that is).
I remember those exams, I still think "I've at least got my MCSE" then remember it's windows 2003
It's Maybe time to think about some more current certifications.
That said I've stayed in IT, learnt a huge amount more , gained experience and done a few moves. but all with the same firm, so it's hard to motivate to get accredited for things unless they are "needed" like trying to get a new job elsewhere.
Medication is a weird one because I am not diagnosed yet, I'm on the waitlist. My diagnosis should be sometime in September but until then I don't have many legit means of acquiring medication. I've been considering trying caffeine because it was what two of my brothers use(d) to self-medicate (my older brother favours Monster Energy while my younger favours coffee), but I don't like coffee and I'm anxious about trying new things like that both of my brothers have ADHD (older is undiagnosed, but my mum has offered to pay for a private diagnosis when she gets that on her insurance since he is my step-brother, and my younger is diagnosed AuDHD)
White knuckling it seems like my best course of action, reading this. Which I guess is fine considering none of this will even matter come the end of June.