What is wrong with wanting to marry a man from a good family, with a good job and looks good too?

Well, I've blundered into the occasional maelstrom of critique and unjustified accusations, partly through my own poor choice of words, but maybe I've got a bit better with more practice here...  

I Sperg said:

I'm not good with my phrasing, I'll admit.

I don't know about that....your comments above seem pretty coherent (and correct) to me, fwiw.

The more parameters one attaches to a "mate specification" the smaller the pool of potential mates becomes even before you get to the "can we stand each others company for long periods?" bit.

I've seen some proofs of this both on the internet and also walking about in real life...

I literally have none of the required characteristics, but I have not lived alone since I reduced my own parameters to a more realsitic level of expection in my late twenties. 

This suggests to me that your combination of characteristics actually exposes you to savage competion, for a very small pool of men, and I posit is the "lottery ticket" approach rather than the "put in the work" approach to courtship.

I'm not good with my phrasing, I'll admit.

There’s nothing wrong with it at all. 

Amerantin said:

I have known some very vain people who spend everything they have and borrow to the max to portray a wealthy appearance.

I think they call it leveraging - something very common amongst this group of "elites" where they find ways to risk other peoples money if it goes wrong but keep the profits it if goes well.

Trump is a classic case of this in his business dealings.

My subjective experiences of such people is that it’s worth questioning if they are actually wealthy. I have known some very vain people who spend everything they have and borrow to the max to portray a wealthy appearance.

But they’re not rich at all, just vain and financially foolish.

Caelus said:

manage finance and easily see to a early retirement.... with a partner... goes for any side... with a partner, the partner will ruin your financial plans and make it impossible to save, impossible to retire

This may well be true but, speaking for myself, retirement alone is terrifying. Nobody will even know I exist. Nobody will be there to look after me when I need it. Nobody to spend those “golden years” with.

Financially I am absolutely set for retirement but I feel like life has been a big joke at my expense - work and save to achieve a fate I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

3- kinda makes sense.... you have 2 choice of partner.... poor guy that cant give you a life or rich guy that makes it so you never need to work and can have holidays every week and go on fancy yachts..... which do you pick? lol which life do you pick, a life of poverty or a life of luxury holidays? ...seems a easy choice and a easy reason why women pick old ugly rich guys. but yeah if the old ugly rich guy had sense hed reject them as hed know they dont like him they like his lifestyle he can offer.

and more on marriage, i think its outdated and unfair and one sided... a toxic sexist legal contract that favours one side more for their gender and punishes the other... id say marriages need to be banned from the world entirely or have their legal financial tie power be disabled.

TheCatWoman said:

I dont' get why wome are supposed to be attracted to rich men, most of them seem old and ugly?

There are 2 schools of thought around this:

1 - the women want easy access to the money and are willing to trade their affections in order to get it irrespective of how ugly the guy is. Some will put up with it long enough to "earn" a payout in the form of divorce, separate life etc (look at Melania Trump for a classic case).

2 - the women are attracted to the power that the wealth brings.

There may be an arguement that some of these rich but unpleasent men are actually nice underneath the vile surface and these women can see through the facade, but my bets are the majority are in the first category.

i think its more a case of not wanting a burden or opportunist that would run off with their money in a mans case. such as how marriage is often seen as a one sided contract that destroys men financially and is used to rob men legally and make them powerless to stop it.

on your own you can easily manage finance and easily see to a early retirement.... with a partner... goes for any side... with a partner, the partner will ruin your financial plans and make it impossible to save, impossible to retire, impossible to see your financial sense and way of not spending in order to have that retirement. i see alot of people in the world are financially irresponsible and lacking financial common sense, so to me its all downsides and loss and economically impossible to have a partner of any kind as theyd just waste my money and sink the entire ship and make it impossible to retire. thats why personally for me if i get a partner id want them seperated from my finances and to be financially stable themselves and having their own sense their own home their own job and on track for early retirement themselves. in order so that their sinking ship doesnt also sink my ship which is currently stable and on course for early retirement perfectly fine by itself.

so finances comes in to it on both sides whether your male or female, or whether you want a make partner or female partner... you dont want a person that will sink you financially and ruin your life.

I don't have money either and I don't want anyone interested.

I dont' get why wome are supposed to be attracted to rich men, most of them seem old and ugly? Does it work the other way around are poor men attracted to rich women?

same, i have been poor, i should have just tried to be rich instead. easy enough right? lol

It doesn't matter what other people think or say. It's your life and you love who you love. It's your decision and you need to follow your heart.

I'm really hoping I'll have a BF in the future but it's not happening yet I get so anxious round people I think it makes me socially awkward and people just avoid.

Debbie said:

I hope that the new forum makes multiple IDs unavailable. 

Me too! 

Something we could do without.

Caelus said:

girls only like money, thats what they go for. looks and age doesnt matter so much as money.

I have clearly been doing something wrong all my life 

You have a suspicious mind. That said it can’t possibly do that. IP addresses aren’t always static and anyone can just make up a new email to register with.

One thing that could be done is posts could be watermarked with a hash of the posters IP address. That way you would be able to tell if two posts had come from the same IP address. Of course hypothetically that could be two different people both using the same Wi-Fi hotspot to post on the forum.

Odd 1st post.

Seems made to set up a sexual politics argument.

I hope that the new forum makes multiple IDs unavailable. 

I must be the exception that proves the rule. I have money but nobody’s interested.

perfectly fine logic, rich people often get girls all around them chasing their wealth... looks though i dont think matters as you get alot of old or ugly rich people getting all the young girls.... girls only like money, thats what they go for. looks and age doesnt matter so much as money.

but this makes rich people stupid though. because why would you want a girl that only sees your wealth? it will be a terrible social structure and not a real relationship, the girl would be more like a enemy in my eyes rather than a friend or relationship... lower than basic acquaintance in my eyes if all they see in you is money.