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Hi am New, scared and overwhelmed

Oatcakes

Hi

 

I am steeling my self to collect my twin boys from the school bus  . Our current situation is we have an appointment with Cahms next month to discuss one sons behaviour and my partner (his Dad) is ringing to arrange an adult assessment today as we have always suspected HFA type issues and he is currently very depressed and anxious.

DS just screams at me for about 15 mins everytime I collect him from school..it feels relentless and I am not dreading the 'looks' and feelings of being judged. As parents we don't shout or hit..we follow the positive parenting guidelines to the max yet everyday it's the same. 

I feel so sad as my son is clearly unhappy and frustrated and every day feels a battle to try and keep him positive. He is having issues with anger at school too and the teacher is at a loss because she can see he's 'not a bad child and you are doing everything you can as his parents'.

I so want to help him through this but as he is coming to the end of his 1st school year I can see that this is beyond us as a family and we need further advice. He's not going to settle in unless more measures are implemented so cahms it has to be.

I feel so low and useless..I wish I could do it all myself and make it better for him. He seems so confused about what is expected of him and hates 'all the people talking all the time..it really bugs me mummy'.

Ah well better go and get my little chaps..thanks for listening.

J

x

 

 

Parents

  • Gosh am so glad I found you guys..I am beginning to feel less of a lunatic...sometimes I have just felt..'Am I the only one who can see this isn't right'.

    The hardest thing to get your head round..well one of the many things..is the contradictions in behaviour across the spectrum. Somethings seem quite clear and others seem to vary from individual to individual..so one minute you're thinking 'hang on that's typical AS' etc and the next 'oh that doesn't quite fit my idea of it'.

    That's for explaining the jargon I will get there. I know what you mean about the short cuts..we have seem that already with the physical illness side of it..I have had to go in and say 'this is what our kids need now'..but to be fair once I have voiced it including part time schooling at times. the school have just said 'yes if that's what you think is best for the boys right now then that is what you need to do'.

     

    I did speak to DS teacher about the violent outbursts and asked her if she had any suggestions about what we could do between us to help Owen and she was at a loss. She said I know you are worried about him becoming isolated and I am too but I don't know what to suggest as you are doing everything I would have suggested already. She then went on to say that she thought perhaps it was understandable because he had had such a lot of trauma.

    So the physical illness may have thrown them off the scent a bit..which is no fault on their part..both boys have been through such a lot.

    I have the chance to talk through the school reports before term ends so may broach the subject then..I feel a bit foolish incase I have got this all wrong and they just think I am neurotic.

    Thank you for the support I do appreciate it.

     

    x

     

     

     

Reply

  • Gosh am so glad I found you guys..I am beginning to feel less of a lunatic...sometimes I have just felt..'Am I the only one who can see this isn't right'.

    The hardest thing to get your head round..well one of the many things..is the contradictions in behaviour across the spectrum. Somethings seem quite clear and others seem to vary from individual to individual..so one minute you're thinking 'hang on that's typical AS' etc and the next 'oh that doesn't quite fit my idea of it'.

    That's for explaining the jargon I will get there. I know what you mean about the short cuts..we have seem that already with the physical illness side of it..I have had to go in and say 'this is what our kids need now'..but to be fair once I have voiced it including part time schooling at times. the school have just said 'yes if that's what you think is best for the boys right now then that is what you need to do'.

     

    I did speak to DS teacher about the violent outbursts and asked her if she had any suggestions about what we could do between us to help Owen and she was at a loss. She said I know you are worried about him becoming isolated and I am too but I don't know what to suggest as you are doing everything I would have suggested already. She then went on to say that she thought perhaps it was understandable because he had had such a lot of trauma.

    So the physical illness may have thrown them off the scent a bit..which is no fault on their part..both boys have been through such a lot.

    I have the chance to talk through the school reports before term ends so may broach the subject then..I feel a bit foolish incase I have got this all wrong and they just think I am neurotic.

    Thank you for the support I do appreciate it.

     

    x

     

     

     

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