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Hi am New, scared and overwhelmed

Oatcakes

Hi

 

I am steeling my self to collect my twin boys from the school bus  . Our current situation is we have an appointment with Cahms next month to discuss one sons behaviour and my partner (his Dad) is ringing to arrange an adult assessment today as we have always suspected HFA type issues and he is currently very depressed and anxious.

DS just screams at me for about 15 mins everytime I collect him from school..it feels relentless and I am not dreading the 'looks' and feelings of being judged. As parents we don't shout or hit..we follow the positive parenting guidelines to the max yet everyday it's the same. 

I feel so sad as my son is clearly unhappy and frustrated and every day feels a battle to try and keep him positive. He is having issues with anger at school too and the teacher is at a loss because she can see he's 'not a bad child and you are doing everything you can as his parents'.

I so want to help him through this but as he is coming to the end of his 1st school year I can see that this is beyond us as a family and we need further advice. He's not going to settle in unless more measures are implemented so cahms it has to be.

I feel so low and useless..I wish I could do it all myself and make it better for him. He seems so confused about what is expected of him and hates 'all the people talking all the time..it really bugs me mummy'.

Ah well better go and get my little chaps..thanks for listening.

J

x

 

 

Parents

  • Hi

    Sorry should not have used the jargon, it stands for Individualised Education Plan.  It is a bit like an action plan focussing on about 4 points with realistic aims/goals and details of how the child will be supported to try to achieve them, you both get copies and you have input.  It is useful to have this in place incase you do want to try for a statement and support later on.  They also highlight to teaching staff that your child does need support and has some emotional, social difficulties.

    The fact that the teacher can see he has anger and can see it is frustration rather than being wilful or "naughty" she has picked up on his needs already. You could focus on how grateful you are that she has recognised his needs and say what can we do together to move it on so that he gets a fair chance at his education and his mental health does not suffer.  I know this may sound a bit hard hitting but as I am sure a lot of parents will agree, you have to be at times to get results as quickly as possible for your child as unfortunately the normal processes take forever and you will be fobbed off given the chance.  Sounds like you have a teacher willing to listen which is great.  Look up "Every Child Matters" if you get a chance.

    Think that is you busy for the next 3 months so best leave it at that.  It is no wonder we burn the midnight oil!! 

    You are doing great doing your best for your family.  They are lucky to have you.

     

Reply

  • Hi

    Sorry should not have used the jargon, it stands for Individualised Education Plan.  It is a bit like an action plan focussing on about 4 points with realistic aims/goals and details of how the child will be supported to try to achieve them, you both get copies and you have input.  It is useful to have this in place incase you do want to try for a statement and support later on.  They also highlight to teaching staff that your child does need support and has some emotional, social difficulties.

    The fact that the teacher can see he has anger and can see it is frustration rather than being wilful or "naughty" she has picked up on his needs already. You could focus on how grateful you are that she has recognised his needs and say what can we do together to move it on so that he gets a fair chance at his education and his mental health does not suffer.  I know this may sound a bit hard hitting but as I am sure a lot of parents will agree, you have to be at times to get results as quickly as possible for your child as unfortunately the normal processes take forever and you will be fobbed off given the chance.  Sounds like you have a teacher willing to listen which is great.  Look up "Every Child Matters" if you get a chance.

    Think that is you busy for the next 3 months so best leave it at that.  It is no wonder we burn the midnight oil!! 

    You are doing great doing your best for your family.  They are lucky to have you.

     

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