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Hi am New, scared and overwhelmed

Oatcakes

Hi

 

I am steeling my self to collect my twin boys from the school bus  . Our current situation is we have an appointment with Cahms next month to discuss one sons behaviour and my partner (his Dad) is ringing to arrange an adult assessment today as we have always suspected HFA type issues and he is currently very depressed and anxious.

DS just screams at me for about 15 mins everytime I collect him from school..it feels relentless and I am not dreading the 'looks' and feelings of being judged. As parents we don't shout or hit..we follow the positive parenting guidelines to the max yet everyday it's the same. 

I feel so sad as my son is clearly unhappy and frustrated and every day feels a battle to try and keep him positive. He is having issues with anger at school too and the teacher is at a loss because she can see he's 'not a bad child and you are doing everything you can as his parents'.

I so want to help him through this but as he is coming to the end of his 1st school year I can see that this is beyond us as a family and we need further advice. He's not going to settle in unless more measures are implemented so cahms it has to be.

I feel so low and useless..I wish I could do it all myself and make it better for him. He seems so confused about what is expected of him and hates 'all the people talking all the time..it really bugs me mummy'.

Ah well better go and get my little chaps..thanks for listening.

J

x

 

 

Parents

  • Oh thank you that moved me to tears..I didn't realise I could speak to the school without diagnosis..I will ring them next week and make an appointment. Both my sons have severe respiratory problems so I have had to do care plans for that etc and keep the school informed of their health issues relating to this regularly . SO I have quite a good rapport with the head etc..and I am well known to them I guess !

    The school have often said they wondered if DS problems were related to all the hospital admissions (he has has severe obstruction to breathing many many times)..and we all thought it was the trauma..which it still of course could be..but like you say given my partners issues we may have been overlooking DS other symptoms due to coping with the acute admissions too. But my other son has settled and is very sociable..it's a good happy school and I see DS watching and puzzling over how his brother has made so many friends and why he can't 'get it right' with the other kids.

    I adore my partner but it is hard to know the best way to get him to participate fully with the family at times..but I am getting better at this now I know he's ok as long as I do lists and plans for him...wish I'd known that 7 years ago lol.

    I am not sure what and IEP is sorry? So I suspect we haven't got one. DS likes headphones a lot so that would work well if the school can go for it.

    OK I will speak to the school before they break up and see how that goes..then cahms will come in August to talk about what issues we have. I feel better now I know I don't have to wait for diagnosis..thank you so much I can't tell you how much this is helping me cope and feel less alone.

    xxxxx

Reply

  • Oh thank you that moved me to tears..I didn't realise I could speak to the school without diagnosis..I will ring them next week and make an appointment. Both my sons have severe respiratory problems so I have had to do care plans for that etc and keep the school informed of their health issues relating to this regularly . SO I have quite a good rapport with the head etc..and I am well known to them I guess !

    The school have often said they wondered if DS problems were related to all the hospital admissions (he has has severe obstruction to breathing many many times)..and we all thought it was the trauma..which it still of course could be..but like you say given my partners issues we may have been overlooking DS other symptoms due to coping with the acute admissions too. But my other son has settled and is very sociable..it's a good happy school and I see DS watching and puzzling over how his brother has made so many friends and why he can't 'get it right' with the other kids.

    I adore my partner but it is hard to know the best way to get him to participate fully with the family at times..but I am getting better at this now I know he's ok as long as I do lists and plans for him...wish I'd known that 7 years ago lol.

    I am not sure what and IEP is sorry? So I suspect we haven't got one. DS likes headphones a lot so that would work well if the school can go for it.

    OK I will speak to the school before they break up and see how that goes..then cahms will come in August to talk about what issues we have. I feel better now I know I don't have to wait for diagnosis..thank you so much I can't tell you how much this is helping me cope and feel less alone.

    xxxxx

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