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Hi am New, scared and overwhelmed

Oatcakes

Hi

 

I am steeling my self to collect my twin boys from the school bus  . Our current situation is we have an appointment with Cahms next month to discuss one sons behaviour and my partner (his Dad) is ringing to arrange an adult assessment today as we have always suspected HFA type issues and he is currently very depressed and anxious.

DS just screams at me for about 15 mins everytime I collect him from school..it feels relentless and I am not dreading the 'looks' and feelings of being judged. As parents we don't shout or hit..we follow the positive parenting guidelines to the max yet everyday it's the same. 

I feel so sad as my son is clearly unhappy and frustrated and every day feels a battle to try and keep him positive. He is having issues with anger at school too and the teacher is at a loss because she can see he's 'not a bad child and you are doing everything you can as his parents'.

I so want to help him through this but as he is coming to the end of his 1st school year I can see that this is beyond us as a family and we need further advice. He's not going to settle in unless more measures are implemented so cahms it has to be.

I feel so low and useless..I wish I could do it all myself and make it better for him. He seems so confused about what is expected of him and hates 'all the people talking all the time..it really bugs me mummy'.

Ah well better go and get my little chaps..thanks for listening.

J

x

 

 

Parents

  • Hi

    Poor you, that is tough to deal with on a daily basis.  Nothing hurts more than seeing your kids hurting and us parents feel that pain.  I totally relate to all you are saying.  My son is 9 with HFA and our first year in Reception was one of our toughest. 

    It is great that you have Cahms involved.  Just incase you have not already, push to get to the Educational Psychologist, Speech and Language Therapist and a Paedatrician involved as they will need to give the input on the diagnosis so the earlier they are involved the quicker it will be and any statement process that may follow.  The SENCO at school should be able to make a referral to the Ed Psych.

    School can start making adaptions now for his needs without a diagnosis.  Does he have an IEP?  Quiet place to go to when the background noise is too much or a special desk away from the main tables which would reduce it to some degree?  Some kids have headphones to put on when it gets too noisy.  The other kids accept these differences without questioning it if the teacher simply says something like "joe does not like it being too noisy so wears his headphones sometimes to make it easier for him to concentrate". This is a great time for school to plan some adaptions for his next school year and consider transition for the next class.

    The NAS parent support group in your area may be of benefit to you.  My partner also has HFA traits and I love him dearly but it can be tough at times to live with.  It is important you get some support for you.

    Loads to do and think about, but take it 1 step at a time and you will get there together.  Keep your chin up and be proud of yourself doing all you can for your son.

     

Reply

  • Hi

    Poor you, that is tough to deal with on a daily basis.  Nothing hurts more than seeing your kids hurting and us parents feel that pain.  I totally relate to all you are saying.  My son is 9 with HFA and our first year in Reception was one of our toughest. 

    It is great that you have Cahms involved.  Just incase you have not already, push to get to the Educational Psychologist, Speech and Language Therapist and a Paedatrician involved as they will need to give the input on the diagnosis so the earlier they are involved the quicker it will be and any statement process that may follow.  The SENCO at school should be able to make a referral to the Ed Psych.

    School can start making adaptions now for his needs without a diagnosis.  Does he have an IEP?  Quiet place to go to when the background noise is too much or a special desk away from the main tables which would reduce it to some degree?  Some kids have headphones to put on when it gets too noisy.  The other kids accept these differences without questioning it if the teacher simply says something like "joe does not like it being too noisy so wears his headphones sometimes to make it easier for him to concentrate". This is a great time for school to plan some adaptions for his next school year and consider transition for the next class.

    The NAS parent support group in your area may be of benefit to you.  My partner also has HFA traits and I love him dearly but it can be tough at times to live with.  It is important you get some support for you.

    Loads to do and think about, but take it 1 step at a time and you will get there together.  Keep your chin up and be proud of yourself doing all you can for your son.

     

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