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Hi am New, scared and overwhelmed

Oatcakes

Hi

 

I am steeling my self to collect my twin boys from the school bus  . Our current situation is we have an appointment with Cahms next month to discuss one sons behaviour and my partner (his Dad) is ringing to arrange an adult assessment today as we have always suspected HFA type issues and he is currently very depressed and anxious.

DS just screams at me for about 15 mins everytime I collect him from school..it feels relentless and I am not dreading the 'looks' and feelings of being judged. As parents we don't shout or hit..we follow the positive parenting guidelines to the max yet everyday it's the same. 

I feel so sad as my son is clearly unhappy and frustrated and every day feels a battle to try and keep him positive. He is having issues with anger at school too and the teacher is at a loss because she can see he's 'not a bad child and you are doing everything you can as his parents'.

I so want to help him through this but as he is coming to the end of his 1st school year I can see that this is beyond us as a family and we need further advice. He's not going to settle in unless more measures are implemented so cahms it has to be.

I feel so low and useless..I wish I could do it all myself and make it better for him. He seems so confused about what is expected of him and hates 'all the people talking all the time..it really bugs me mummy'.

Ah well better go and get my little chaps..thanks for listening.

J

x

 

 

Parents

  • It wasn't as bad today (mainly I suspect because it's Friday)...although angry and frustrated he just growled a bit and I could see he was making a huge effort to not shout at me. Bless..but how hard must that be?

    I got the school reports today and the teacher says once engaged he is an eager learner and very bright, loves books and has a very caring side, she did add that often he will talk at length about things that are not relevant to what they want. He is a complex chap..he can be utterly sensitive to younger children, and to me at times (I am ill quite a bit and he tries so hard to help).But he can be very violent and aggressive too for what seems very little reason..he's head butted me and his classmates.

    I think you are right about too many demands and too much noise..he is extremely sensitive to noise and light..says it hurts..I have severe migraines so I understand how you can become over sensitive to stimulus like these..at first I thought maybe it was migraines in my son but obviously now I am getting to grips with my partners problems things are making more sense.

    My boys not SEN'd as we are only just at the start of the process, I am hoping we will be well on the way to sorting diagnosis out by the time the new school year starts but I realise that's ambitious.

     

    Thanks for the links I will look at those with great interest. I really appreciate you taking the time to write.

     

    J

    x

Reply

  • It wasn't as bad today (mainly I suspect because it's Friday)...although angry and frustrated he just growled a bit and I could see he was making a huge effort to not shout at me. Bless..but how hard must that be?

    I got the school reports today and the teacher says once engaged he is an eager learner and very bright, loves books and has a very caring side, she did add that often he will talk at length about things that are not relevant to what they want. He is a complex chap..he can be utterly sensitive to younger children, and to me at times (I am ill quite a bit and he tries so hard to help).But he can be very violent and aggressive too for what seems very little reason..he's head butted me and his classmates.

    I think you are right about too many demands and too much noise..he is extremely sensitive to noise and light..says it hurts..I have severe migraines so I understand how you can become over sensitive to stimulus like these..at first I thought maybe it was migraines in my son but obviously now I am getting to grips with my partners problems things are making more sense.

    My boys not SEN'd as we are only just at the start of the process, I am hoping we will be well on the way to sorting diagnosis out by the time the new school year starts but I realise that's ambitious.

     

    Thanks for the links I will look at those with great interest. I really appreciate you taking the time to write.

     

    J

    x

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