Earlier this month I had my diagnosis that I am on the spectrum, and a little further onto the spectrum then I initially thought as I assumed I was boarderline, as the story of my life so far seemed to be of not fitting into any boxes anywhere! (As if lifes boxes didn't exist to catagorize a human like me!
But I have learned that what I excused my oddities as being character traits due to unusual upbringing (As I grew up on a smallholding in a village so was considered "Odd" (Then moved just outside the village on the hill), but to be honest, I never ever wanted to be "Normal" in my life! (Despite trying and trying to desparately finding ways to connect with others with limited success. Some rare individuals I could connect with but they tended to be misfits themselves and even then it was not that common to find anyone that one would be invited to visit at their homes or vice versa. I did find the odd one... But some years I was alone and it felt really alone! (So I buried myself inside train and railway books/magazines etc!))
But I never knew that my character traits were autism traits! I never knew! And when people told me I was on the spectrum (I had a fair few of them in the last decade or two!) I really thought someone was playing a prank on me! Once I ran out of a building to see who was outside who I thought had told this stranger to tell me that! But of course there was no one there!
I am now in my very early 50's and was diagnosed earlier this month. It feels odd.
Oh no! Went to edit as I write too much and go way off subject but accidently (With my big fingers) hit "Report post" and I just reported my own thread! What do I do?
I apologize. I go way off the subject I wanted to talk about... Am frustrated and having a moan! I will delete irrelevent bits. (Most of it! Write and write when a sentence will do! There. Shortened it a bit to the subject I intended it to be! There was nothing I wrote that was abusive about myself when I reported myself. Honest!)
