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Angry about Christmas- again

Pandoren

I know that the kind of sympathy I usually get is of the "there are people without homes and families this Christmas you know!" variety and if that's someone's response, kindly keep it to yourself. I have a right to be annoyed.

Christmas to me, every year, is the day in which I am obligated to buy presents for people I frankly don't know very well (my parents) and in which presents are bought for me which demonstrate a clear lack of knowledge or thought about me. They say "it's the thought that counts" but to me it isn't, because I'd rather get nothing than to be given meaningless useless junk.

This year, I made it clear I was only interested in being given money, because I'm in debt and money is useful to me whereas a pair of novelty socks is not. I hinted at the possibility that my now dearly departed mp3 headphones needed a successor (costing £5 at the local supermarket). I explicitly ordered my mother not to buy me any clothes, as I have nowhere to put them (I don't have a wardrobe so my existing clothes are hanging from my ceiling).

What I actually got included a christmas decoration with £1 and a rubber stamp, a glasses case I'll never use, a huge pink jumper and a pair of pyjamas that appeals to my mother but not so much to me, a pair of DJ stereo headphones that are so huge that I didn't even have anything that big in the '90s and I wouldn't be seen dead wearing them, and from my brother what looks like a leather bracelet, when I've been a vegan for seven years and I don't wear any jewellery. My brother has a track record of being rather single minded- he bought me a hideous shoulder bag before (I never use those), a bracelet made of shell, a bar of milk chocolate etc... I despise when my relatives buy me jewellery, because not only do I find jewellery an impersonal purchase (it's like chocolate... if you don't know what to buy, if the person has a certain anatomy, give them jewellery or make-up...) but also that the fact I have never used those things make it doubly so for me, and to have my own immediate family buy me this I find actually kinda offensive. 

So once again, Christmas Day has ended with me sitting in my room feeling upset. Like every year, my family wasted their money on what amounts to rubbish and it all screams a mixture of "well, I was obligated to buy you SOMETHING!" with undertones of "You were supposed to be a normal girl who likes this stuff, but no, now I have to spend lots of money buying all this for your brother's girlfriend instead!" (the latter being something my mother did practically say recently. Thankfully she didn't buy me jewellery this year. I can practically smell her disappointment in me for not being interested in clothes/shoes/shopping/jewellery/make-up/boys and it seems that with every dumb purchase of this stuff it is like a flicker of hope that some day she'll give me a necklace and suddenly I'll be cured!)

Roll on New Year Sealed

  • Wow, this took a detour!

    I heard my first Christmas song in November... Far too early... then again, I think I heard some on Christmas Eve and I still wasn't in the mood to hear them.

    On the topic of harming other things, while obviously I am a vegan, I do think that obviously there is only so far you can go with it...

  • Paull said:

    merry syphulis and a crappy poo rear

    thank god christmas is over for another year

    And thank God that I've got through it not hearing Cliff b***dy Richard once and Winter Wonderland mercifully few times ;)

  • merry syphulis and a crappy poo rear

    thank god christmas is over for another year

  • zem said:
    With the exception of insects that fly into my mouth while I am cycling.

    I hope they tasted nice, at least they had some protein in them...I'll let you off as it was accidental.  You could always (bringing the thread back on topic nicely) make your Christmas special by serving some up with a sprig of holly and a nice bottle of beetlejuice.  Now how could anyone hate a Christmas like that. Wink

  • IntenseWorld said:

    If you're going down that road, what about killing plants to eat them?  Those poor sprouts must have screamed blue murder when they were hacked from their stalks.  I once saw a programme about whether plants feel pain or not, and they attached a plant to some sort of electronic device which could transmit it's distress as a visible reaction/scream when they cut bits off it.  The plant screamed.  A quick Google in fact, brought this up: http://www.vegetablecruelty.com/

    Buddhists, Jainists and other religions instruct not to harm any living thing.  I saw a programme about this type of stuff once where one religion even believed it cruel to walk on grass as it's a living thing.  (Not to mention all those ants and bugs you crush whilst doing so of course).

    Do we not eat either?  So we live on fallen fruit/veg only (can see that feeding the global population) and live miserably without celebrating anything in the meantime.  Ho-hum, what a joyous existence that would be.

    Yes, and I've just murdered countless microorganisms (living things) already today: I've put my white laundry in the machine with a laundry powder (contains bleaching agents) and boiled a kettle (killing lots more in the water) to make a coffee.  And when I've finished that I'll iron some T shirts, giving lots more a horrible steamy death.  Then, for the ultimate atrocity, I'll probably clean the bathroom later today.  That's before we even start on the vicious white blood cells rampaging around my body.

    I'm well aware that plants have signalling and defence mechanisms, including electrical signals.  Even bacteria have signalling mechanisms.  That is very distinct from "feeling" anything in the sense that a pig, cow, or human might though.  Plants do not have a central nervous system.  They may respond to an insect eating their leaves by producing chemicals to make the other leaves taste bad or harm the insect if it keeps munching, but without a central nervous system they cannot feel the pain as the insect bites, think "stupid insect, that hurts", and make a concious decision of how to respond in the way that we would.  Responding to a stimulus is not the necessarily the same as "feeling" it.

    As for fruits, plants produce them so that animals will eat them and disperse the seeds.

    The great irony here though is that it's meat eating that is a threat to "feeding the global population".  Meat takes phenomenally more land and resources that plant-based foods to produce, and to consume it at the rate that we do (metaphorical "we" as I don't eat any*) is unsustainable and a major contributor to climate change and other damage to the environment (nitrate pollution, deforestation etc.)  This, in turn, poses a huge threat to the billions of humans who depend upon natural resources.

    Zem Smile

    *With the exception of insects that fly into my mouth while I am cycling.

  • We buy things when we need them too - but there are always odd things that you have in the back of your mind, and treats, that you want but don't get round to getting.  So we still can always fill up a Christmas list.  I know how to shop around and make the £1 stretch a long way so we don't lose out on things being cheaper at other times.  I've never had a problem with anything being discontinued either.

  • I come from a family that buys things as and when they are required rather than waiting for Christmas. That way makes it easier to focus on the quality and utility of the item and it probably works out cheaper. Kids find it hard to think straight and decide whether they really want or need an item if they only have one chance a year to obtain it. Sometimes items they want are discontinued before Christmas with no suitable substitute which can be very frustrating and upsetting for them.

  • If you're going down that road, what about killing plants to eat them?  Those poor sprouts must have screamed blue murder when they were hacked from their stalks.  I once saw a programme about whether plants feel pain or not, and they attached a plant to some sort of electronic device which could transmit it's distress as a visible reaction/scream when they cut bits off it.  The plant screamed.  A quick Google in fact, brought this up: http://www.vegetablecruelty.com/

    Buddhists, Jainists and other religions instruct not to harm any living thing.  I saw a programme about this type of stuff once where one religion even believed it cruel to walk on grass as it's a living thing.  (Not to mention all those ants and bugs you crush whilst doing so of course).

    Do we not eat either?  So we live on fallen fruit/veg only (can see that feeding the global population) and live miserably without celebrating anything in the meantime.  Ho-hum, what a joyous existence that would be.

  • IntenseWorld said:

    ...there is no harm in taking part.

    I'm not sure that many turkeys would agree with that statement ;)

  • Christmas is stressful to organise, especially if you have children relying on it being special, but it does have a cosy feeling and there is no harm in taking part.

  • Pandoren said:

    One sad thing is, if you act polite and graciously accept a gift, sometimes people think they are on to a winner and keep on buying you the same tat Sealed (I'm sure I'm guilty of this as well, mind you). I think my mother may now be on a theme of buying me shirts and jumpers of rabbits wearing fashion accessories Undecided

    I've thought the same myself, though luckily not with rabbits wearing fashion accessories.  I have one aunt who for years brought me miscellaneous items from Next, which never got used.  One year she got me a multi-tool, but it fell apart as soon as I tried to use it.  Another relative once brought me a framed black-and-white photograph of the front end of a wooden boat.  Thankfully they were easy to put somewhere out of the way or pass on.

    I don't much like the whole Christmas thing either, and luckily as I've been living on my own (hundreds of miles from my nearest relatives) I have had four Christmasses in a row my way.  There is an unspoken mutual agreement with my siblings that we just don't bother buying each other cards or presents, so I hardly have to buy any.  I can just sleep, relax, go for a nice walk, and cook more-or-less the same thing as I do most other days this time of year.  I've even put about 70% of the cards that I have received (mostly from colleagues) in the recycling bin already to keep clutter down.  I can see how much more difficult it must be living at home where you can't set your own rules though!

    I don't think that it's overly cynical to feel fed up with the whole ritualistic buying of presents thing.  It can be very wasteful, stressful, and pointless.

  • I'm in a cynical mood Hope, this is the norm for me at this time of year because I just hate the whole process and refuse to be a sheep, bahhhh humbug...Smile

  • Hi Pandoren,

    yes, it's supposed to be funny Laughing and I know what you are getting at. The whole obligation facade becomes more like a trading process whereupon many people recieve things they have no use for or do not want, yet they have to act out they are happy and disguise their true feelings. Why does it have to be like this ? Why can't people be honest ?  Millions of tonnes of tat going into landfill in the next few weeks.

    haha rabbits wearing fashion accessories and a pink jumper, at least you could them as a rags, you could accidentally boil wash them while accidentally leaving the glasses case in the pocket. NO -it's a joke !

    I've got no use for my 'chocolate flavoured brazil nuts' - yes chocolate flavoured - that means they only 'taste like chocolate' - yummy, I suppose I could use them as fertilizer and chuck them in the garden.

    The worst present I ever got was a hand kitted chunky jumper knitted by my mum who made we wear it to school, it was massive, about 3 inches thick, and made me feel stupid and the size of a whale, 'unfortunately' after a few days someone nicked it from the changing room during PE Laughing and now way did it end up in the canal on the way home from school.

  • No-one is obligated to do anything, and I am sure that not everyone has the traditional Christmas roast. My Aunty, for example, is vegetarian, and she had a veggie haggis for her dinner; some people have fish for Christmas, or roast beef. I suspect, however, that the majority of people who have turkey like the dish enough to keep on having it.

    Why so cynical?

     

  • Longman - Just because the masses are brainwashed into doing what they are dictated to do, just because they buy presents because that's how they are told to act, they pretend to like them because that's how they have been told to act, they have sprouts, turkey, decorations, a tree, tell lies about father christmas etc all because they are like a sheep following the flock blindly, if the whole flock walked over the edge of a cliff they too would follow because they don't have a mind of their own and it's so deeply drummed into them that they consider anyone else who does not comply as an outcast with wrong views.

    'Oh no I've got to get the cranberry sauce and christmas pudding'... why ?? because that's how they have been told to act, that's what's been pummelled into everyones brain through shops, media and TV to get them to comply.

    People are so blind that when someone shines a light of truth in their face they can't even see it, they are so blind that their only course of action is to mock other peoples views just because they wrongly assume the flock must be right because they are the majority.

    Truthful people like Socrates and Jesus get murdered because of this baying crowd that most people belong to.

    Christmas is an invention built on lies - the ignorant follow those lies - the wise come to see through them.

    Watch - see for yourself, question your own actions.

  • Well thank goodness only a very few people think like that......

  • Thanks, your post made me laugh, although I suspect that wasn't your intention. You know exactly what I'm getting at.

    One sad thing is, if you act polite and graciously accept a gift, sometimes people think they are on to a winner and keep on buying you the same tat Sealed (I'm sure I'm guilty of this as well, mind you). I think my mother may now be on a theme of buying me shirts and jumpers of rabbits wearing fashion accessories Undecided

    Another awkward thing is that I don't have any friends, so all of my presents are from close relatives and I still live with my parents... so they can ask questions like "aren't you going to wear that new jumper...?" "What happened to that nice bracelet...?" Rather more awkward to get rid than from some distant whoever.

  • I can't stand the whole present buying nonsense, you buy someone something for £10 or more and you get back in return a box of 'after dinner mints' obviously bought from poundland, not only that but then you are supposed to show pleasure and appreciation in getting this thoughtless cheap usless tat and you are not allowed to show displeasure when you have obviously got the thin end of the wedge by spending hundeds of pound on others and got back ten quid worth of tat, yet you are not supposed to think like this because it's the thought that counts and it's all about the giving and not recieving etc...

    It's amazing how many people can spontaneously turn in an oscar winning performance by pretending to appreciate a box of 'fruit flavoured jellies' but if you yourself do not act out the charade upon recieving your 'unbranded mens aftershave' then you are seen to be unappreciative. I'm sorry that I cannot act out how joyful I am at tearing off the wrapping paper to reveal a 'twinpack of polyester socks' and if I try then I get accused of being sarcastic, you can't win so I just avoid the whole farce.

    I would rather get nothing, at least it's not disappointing and I don't have to pretend to be overjoyed at a 'leather look diary'. It's all pretence, lies and acting all for the sake of being seen to comply to an entire occasion that is built upon lies propagated by commercialism.

    In private you hear many people moan about or even ridicule their gifts, yet next year they go through it all again.