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Take5

Hi everyone 

Not sure this is what people think when I’m in conversation but it’s the impression I get.

i find it hard to jump into a group discussion at the right time, then my wife looks at me because I haven’t been keeping up with what’s is being said.
Also when I do start to talk it’s almost like I haven’t said anything and I get the impression I’ve bored them that much that I’m ignored. It’s so rude as I really don’t feel like I have anything to give to the topic no matter how much I think before I speak.

im really confused about this 

  • in reply to InfinitePlanner

    I nod a lot also but often think that I’m doing it just to appear interested. 

  • I find one-to-one conversations far easier. I think part of it is that people are not always on the same wavelength as me. With a one-to-one conversation, a lot of people make the effort to find that middle ground. However, with a group discussion, the tone is likely to be set by the majority of those involved, and if they are similar to each other and different to me then it will be like I am spectating rather than participating. Chipping in can sometimes be incongruent because I am thinking in a different way to the implicitly agreed approach set by the others, or trying to say something about a topic in which I have no interest. I now try to focus on quality not quantity with my contributions, which can mean saying very little but nodding when others do to show that I am listening!

  • Suspect a lot of us here have the same experience.

    I really struggle to find the right time to take my turn to speak and am often spoken over as a result. I’ve even heard people say the thing I said a few minutes previously, as if I’m invisible and unheard. Then people ask my why I didn’t say anything in the meeting (I properly exploded at a manager once when he said that: “you wouldn’t let me get a ****** word in!).

    it is a classic autistic challenge.