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hi

suz

Hi I don't know if I'm in the right place, my 7 year old has asperger and has become extreamly violent and she becoming stronger as she gross older, I have spoken to health professionals and have social services on my case as my daughter is violent to my young babies ( 1 and 2) they are blaming me for her behaviour and don't believe she has asperger even thou the specialist sent them a letter, She is very dangerous so have to keep eye on her 24/7 she stuck her tongue in a light socket when she was 6 because she hears voices and it told her if she done it she be able to fly :'( phycatrist has seen her 3 times due to her hearing voices and they say I need a parenting corse because my baby girl could sit and do a puzzle for 5 mins but wouldn't open up about voice just told them it goes in her ears. Anyone got any ideas how to stop her from hurting me so much as she frightens the little ones when she attacking me.. Also my 12 month old doesn't do eye contact and if she does it limited she likes slapping and screaming if someone she doesn't know walks past her or even looks at her she screams to the point I have to hold her but she hates being cuddled she rather be left alone to play by herself my health visitor said she won't be sending her for assessment as she not prepared to label her the same as her sister. Can she say that!?? Also she doesn't giggle much started to giggle at 9 months old any advice will be greatful x 

Parents

  • I'm so sorry.  This must be very stressful for you.  The problem too, is that I know from personal experience that social services have no autism training and have no understanding of the issues it causes with behaviour, family dynamics and communication.  So you need to protect yourself to get this straightened out.

    For your own protection, I would take your daughter to your GP asap for a check up, explain what has happened and ask him to do a physical examination to put on record that there is no sign of the so-called beating up.

    Also, perhaps record things your daughter says, if you had recorded what she said in the voice she said it to you, it would be clearer that she is saying it maliciously.  Perhaps maliciously is the wrong word, but low empathy in an autistic child can cause a lot of miscommunication and atypical behaviours.

    My 9yo has said terrible things to me many times, in a cool, collected voice, for instance because I won a game of snakes and ladders against her.  She has also screamed out things which as people don't know the context, they could easily misunderstand and get the wrong idea.  Even my 12yo who is also high-functioning and has OCD about germs has screamed out highly misconstruable things that you do wonder whether the neighbours hear and think the wrong thing.  The thing is, they have low emotional awareness and often empathy, high intellect and communication deficits - it can be a perfect storm for things getting either taken the wrong way or the child not realising the impact of their words or actions.

    Maybe you ought to speak to the GP about getting your daughter referred for therapy to talk through appropriate and inappropriate social behaviours.

    You can also buy social stories about things like this too, to teach why saying and doing certain things is wrong and has consequences.  Here is an example: http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/WHEN-I-FEEL-ANGRY-SOCIAL-STORY-BOOK-autism-SEN-speech-delays-/121271531627?pt=UK_Toys_Creative_Educational_RL&hash=item1c3c58b86b and you can make some yourself.

    Many children with autism also have ADHD and this combination seems to make children defiant, oppositional and even more prone to blurting out inappropriate things.  My 9yo has a history of lying too and I wouldn't be surprised is this is caused by co-morbid ADHD, which she will shortly be tested for.

Reply

  • I'm so sorry.  This must be very stressful for you.  The problem too, is that I know from personal experience that social services have no autism training and have no understanding of the issues it causes with behaviour, family dynamics and communication.  So you need to protect yourself to get this straightened out.

    For your own protection, I would take your daughter to your GP asap for a check up, explain what has happened and ask him to do a physical examination to put on record that there is no sign of the so-called beating up.

    Also, perhaps record things your daughter says, if you had recorded what she said in the voice she said it to you, it would be clearer that she is saying it maliciously.  Perhaps maliciously is the wrong word, but low empathy in an autistic child can cause a lot of miscommunication and atypical behaviours.

    My 9yo has said terrible things to me many times, in a cool, collected voice, for instance because I won a game of snakes and ladders against her.  She has also screamed out things which as people don't know the context, they could easily misunderstand and get the wrong idea.  Even my 12yo who is also high-functioning and has OCD about germs has screamed out highly misconstruable things that you do wonder whether the neighbours hear and think the wrong thing.  The thing is, they have low emotional awareness and often empathy, high intellect and communication deficits - it can be a perfect storm for things getting either taken the wrong way or the child not realising the impact of their words or actions.

    Maybe you ought to speak to the GP about getting your daughter referred for therapy to talk through appropriate and inappropriate social behaviours.

    You can also buy social stories about things like this too, to teach why saying and doing certain things is wrong and has consequences.  Here is an example: http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/WHEN-I-FEEL-ANGRY-SOCIAL-STORY-BOOK-autism-SEN-speech-delays-/121271531627?pt=UK_Toys_Creative_Educational_RL&hash=item1c3c58b86b and you can make some yourself.

    Many children with autism also have ADHD and this combination seems to make children defiant, oppositional and even more prone to blurting out inappropriate things.  My 9yo has a history of lying too and I wouldn't be surprised is this is caused by co-morbid ADHD, which she will shortly be tested for.

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