Plans for 2024.

Like you, I would love to go to Rome. Wandering around amongst all of that history and architecture would be fascinating. And the pasta and pizza! However, the fact that I have had three books about the city sitting on my shelf for the last 15 years suggests that it probably will not happen in 2024. I need to plan everything in detail, and 12 months may not be sufficient time to do that! I do not necessarily need to stick to every aspect of the plan, but the reassurance that it exists is a prerequisite. The main snag is the length of the planning stage almost always provides sufficient time for my anxieties to talk me out of anything. I did manage my first holiday in more than a decade this year, four days in Devon, which I am hoping may provide a foundation for another excursion in 2024.

The flight is probably the only part of the Rome adventure about which I would not be anxious. All I need to do is sit there, read a book and ignore everyone else, with drinking water and toilets always within striking distance! Nevertheless, the train sounds a wonderful way to travel to Rome, and I imagine you would pass through some beautiful landscapes. You would need to walk between stations in Paris (had been thinking about doing something similar to Switzerland!), so could easily turn it into a two-centre holiday! I hope you make it there soon.

My main plan for 2024 is not to have a plan! I seem to have spent most of my spare time in recent months trying to come up with some grand scheme for transforming my life, centred around moving somewhere different but also usually involving changing careers or quitting work. If I am completely honest with myself, it is partly a distraction from actually doing anything, and the downside of any such plan is that I would need to take myself with me. Instead, I should probably focus on the small things, and try to recapture some of the joy in everyday life.

The other key aim is to be kinder to myself. Some people may say that I have already gone too far in that direction given the volume of chocolate that I lavish on myself, but I could really do with toning down the self-criticism, as that only reinforces my inertia and sense of worthlessness rather than motivating me! I think that is why your openness and eloquence, and that of others on this forum, is such a positive thing, because it reassures me that I am not the only one who struggles with aspects of life that many people would consider to be straightforward. Instead of constantly berating myself for finding certain basic things very difficult, I need to discover some acceptance and focus on locating that sweet spot where I push myself a little but not to the extent that I fall off a cliff. One difficulty in all of that is the way in which I have internalised the expectations of others, so I could do with blocking out those voices and concentrate on the attributes I have rather than worrying too much about what is missing. Nothing too ambitious then!

Best of luck to everyone in their endeavours in 2024. If you do not achieve everything that you would like to then do not worry, as 2025 will be here before you know it (was aiming to go out on an uplifting note, but that actually sounds quite depressing!).

InfinitePlanner said:

I seem to have spent most of my spare time in recent months trying to come up with some grand scheme for transforming my life, centred around moving somewhere different but also usually involving changing careers or quitting work. If I am completely honest with myself, it is partly a distraction from actually doing anything, and the downside of any such plan is that I would need to take myself with me. Instead, I should probably focus on the small things, and try to recapture some of the joy in everyday life.

Hi InfinitePlanner, you’re demonstrating some really solid self awareness there and I have to admit I’m guilty of exactly the same thing. 

Maybe we should take a bottom up approach to improving our lives, concentrating on the little things that make life better, instead of making grand plans that we’ll never have the resolve to follow through on.

InfinitePlanner said:

I seem to have spent most of my spare time in recent months trying to come up with some grand scheme for transforming my life, centred around moving somewhere different but also usually involving changing careers or quitting work. If I am completely honest with myself, it is partly a distraction from actually doing anything, and the downside of any such plan is that I would need to take myself with me. Instead, I should probably focus on the small things, and try to recapture some of the joy in everyday life.

Hi InfinitePlanner, you’re demonstrating some really solid self awareness there and I have to admit I’m guilty of exactly the same thing. 

Maybe we should take a bottom up approach to improving our lives, concentrating on the little things that make life better, instead of making grand plans that we’ll never have the resolve to follow through on.

Thanks @Amerantin, I find self-awareness to be a slippery little blighter. Just when I think that I am getting somewhere with it, I trip over something previously unnoticed/ignored, or realise that I have spent the last decade believing in the Flat Earth theory of myself.

here here, bricks are small, buildings big!