So fed up

jrandall10,

I have an eight year old son who behaves exactly like your daughter, he has been recently diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome with strong demand avoidance componenant. Like you we are told that the school has no concerns about him, yet he kicks off as soon as we leave the school gate every afternoon, he is violent and abusive to his younger brothers, me and his father. His teacher is the SENCO, I have tried to talk to her about him but she fobs me off saying that all parents tell her that their children ar difficult at home after school, he's no different to them and I am getting increasingly frustrated because he is different to them but the school keep treating him as NT. We have a good paediatrician, she referred us to CAHMS for help with his behaviour and anger, we attended a 2 hour relaxation course, which finished after an hour because the two children there couldn't imagine themselves on a beach or in an air balloon when they were in a room that was full of toddlers toys, bright sunlight and not relaxing in the slightest. we have also attended a 123 behaviour course which again hasn't helped because the rewards that he wants for the start behaviours are too expensive or he works out that it would take months to get what he wants, when he wants it here and now and he isn't bothered about the penalties for stop behaviours. Since he was 3 no reward charts have ever worked with him. As for help with his anger, which was the main reason for being refferred to CAHMS, our advisor has told us that they have stopped doing anger management courses for children and we don't know how to get our son the help that he needs.

Like you family life is very stressful for us and it is only the fact that we know that it his Aspergers causing the stress that has prevented me and my husband from seperating.

Thank you for your post as other peoples replies may help us too and I hope that you get some comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

jrandall10,

I have an eight year old son who behaves exactly like your daughter, he has been recently diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome with strong demand avoidance componenant. Like you we are told that the school has no concerns about him, yet he kicks off as soon as we leave the school gate every afternoon, he is violent and abusive to his younger brothers, me and his father. His teacher is the SENCO, I have tried to talk to her about him but she fobs me off saying that all parents tell her that their children ar difficult at home after school, he's no different to them and I am getting increasingly frustrated because he is different to them but the school keep treating him as NT. We have a good paediatrician, she referred us to CAHMS for help with his behaviour and anger, we attended a 2 hour relaxation course, which finished after an hour because the two children there couldn't imagine themselves on a beach or in an air balloon when they were in a room that was full of toddlers toys, bright sunlight and not relaxing in the slightest. we have also attended a 123 behaviour course which again hasn't helped because the rewards that he wants for the start behaviours are too expensive or he works out that it would take months to get what he wants, when he wants it here and now and he isn't bothered about the penalties for stop behaviours. Since he was 3 no reward charts have ever worked with him. As for help with his anger, which was the main reason for being refferred to CAHMS, our advisor has told us that they have stopped doing anger management courses for children and we don't know how to get our son the help that he needs.

Like you family life is very stressful for us and it is only the fact that we know that it his Aspergers causing the stress that has prevented me and my husband from seperating.

Thank you for your post as other peoples replies may help us too and I hope that you get some comfort in knowing that you are not alone.