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Sibling affects

NAS90655

Son with ASD age 13, is constantly against his younger sibling age 10 . 
antagonistic , uncomplimentary, critical , and tends to not want to do activities or engage with us as a family when it’s 4 . he will not allow his brother to play or share anything with him . 

it creates upset , stress , and it’s impacting on my youngest self esteem : on times my youngest is a nuisance and can be perhaps over the top , but sometimes the attitude , comments and behaviour is completely unwarranted. 

My two children are complete opposites really , and I am questioning whether the youngest could be neurodiverse himself . 

Just wondered if anybody has any shared experience, and how you manage this . We are finding as a family we have to do a lot in 2s rather than as a 4 . 

Parents

  • I can’t comment as a parent but I am autistic and had a truly awful relationship with my older brother when I was a child. I didn’t know I was autistic but I think he sensed vulnerability which he could exploit. He constantly criticised, undermined and generally made my life a misery.

    It’s not at all unusual for brothers to have an antagonistic relationship as kids so this may have happened anyway.

    As adults we have a much better relationship. From an adult perspective I can also see that he felt he compared badly to me because I was very good in school and was conscientious in a way he wasn’t (probably stereotypical rule following).

    I guess what I’m saying, in a long winded way, is that brotherly antagonism is very common and they’ll probably grow out of it. I realise that doesn’t help you much now.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Thanks for your reply . It’s lovely to hear you have a better relationship in adulthood 

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