Published on 12, July, 2020
What "autistic" things do you find yourselves doing? I do a lot of different things which I know a neurotypical wouldn't think twice about.
One of them is making sure everything in my house is straight, so the chairs, my books and DVDs on the shelf, pictures hanging on the wall and plenty more than that.
Recently I was doing up an MG Maestro and had noticed the offside headlight wasn't seated properly and was facing a little to the side. This bothered me so much, playing at the back of my mind until finally I went out and straightened it because I couldn't cope with it not being right.
I feel like I was actually approaching a meltdown, that's how much this sort of thing bothers me.
Am I alone in being this way?
see a sheet of paper, fold a piece of paper, origami or geometric toys.
slamming flat palm on hard surfaces when excited, surprised, If melting i do it very hard repeatedly.
Tapping tips of fingers on surfaces for punctuation, reassure, transitions.
dancing (I don't even know I'm dancing) when/wherever music is playing.
Freeze in place in cacophony, overload or too much cognitive dissonance.
mapping small and large journeys before I take them. I have to know the whole route before the first connection and sometimes
keep a list in hand and mark off the progress, like tube stops, boarding area and times etc
Noticing peoples new hair, nails, eyebrows, shoes, buttons, clothing etc hard pressed to remember their eye color.
feeling following currents of energy in the air, water witching sorts of things.
foot to foot rocking while waiting conversing
Do not like putting my back against the backs of chairs, unless I am cross legged.
etc...
Uhane said:Freeze in place in cacophony, overload or too much cognitive dissonance.
I've done this before - the freeze in place when overwhelmed. It's like there's a lag on my sensory processing.
Uhane said:Noticing peoples new hair, nails, eyebrows, shoes, buttons, clothing etc hard pressed to remember their eye color.
I don't know what colour anyone's eyes are, but I point out other details that nobody else notices.
I tried an experiment with a friend of mine: I wanted to practice eye contact and she would help me.
It was very hard at first but I stared and saw into her iris at the way her cataract surgery implant set, how it made a sort of sparkle. and that the other one was going to need one. She was surprised that I could tell.
I asked her how long is the right amount of time, what percentage of time, which eye? It was scary. I felt scared but I trusted her and it got funny. She has pretty sky blue eyes.
that was what I was trying to figure out with my friend: "why is it so hard, too much?" Some autistic people can do it more than others.
And for me, i can do it a bit if I feel really safe with the other person.
I tried some eye contact videos on YouTube. For example, this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5w3cYtJekpw
I think there might be something wrong with me because I just can't do it. It's horrible, horrible, horrible. I feel horrible, even though it's not real. I have to look away. It's too much. I've never made it more than 20 seconds in that video.
I'm hoping someone will tell me that this video isn't normal and this isn't how much eye contact people have. I feel ill from looking at this video again. I do want to look into people's eyes, it's just that it is not a very nice experience for me, so I have avoided doing it.