Christmas shopping. SOS. SEND HELP!

Old Timer said:

I felt safe in the motor car though and remained eternally grateful that I could be there.

'Here in my car, I feel safest of all ...'

Gary Numan, who is autistic.

I saw him live in the 70s and 80s.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Im3JzxlatUs

Whooo go you! ^-^ 

I'm glad it went well and you were ok. Really good to hear.

Have a lovely day :) 

Ahh, yes, I tried not to be specific with that to comply with the rules however I wanted to give a general indication as I felt it was necessary for your rather interesting topic.

As it happens she did decide to deposit me in the motor car, which personally for me is more ideal than a cafe. Having said that one does enjoy a cup of tea and a slice of cake in a cafe from time to time.

It was quite exhausting but I am glad I was able to go in the end.

Autonomistic said:

Can you become an environmental activist and declare that it is against your principles. Tell your wife that you are a huge fan of your fellow autist Greta Thunberg. 

Excellent suggestion! I will write that down and put it aside for next year.

I used to have a chum who owned a Reliant Robin. It used to have Nicks' Tricks written on the side of it.

Nick used to do electrical work, I learned most of my electronics knowledge from him actually, he really knew his stuff. He would travel round repairing electrical bits for people for quite a reasonable fee. He did televisions, vinyl decks, alarms, car electrics, everything and anything. I saw his little Robin every day at one time.

Every time I see one these days, which is quite rare now, I am always reminded of Nick.

I would like to offer thanks and regards to you all for your thoughtful comments during my torturous endeavours yesterday. It is true at times I wept like a baby but somehow I survived the ordeal. Thank you for your thoughtfulness. Its nice knowing I have this community to turn to when I need to.

One must confess that my Good Lady is not the ogress I dressed her up as. She was quite understanding yesterday. Before we left she did offer to find other means of transport to get to London, her favourite alternative choice was going with her best friend and local Know-It-All Madge, who I have to tell you is an irritating sort and I had to make a choice there and then. Well, there really was no choice. I had to go at this point as afterwards Madge would have come in and then it’s impossible to get rid of her for at least three hours, sometimes longer than that. I must say Mr. Spergs suggestions were tempting for Madge... But one must remain strong and keep on the road of sanity.

But my Good Lady did offer and for that I am grateful. She doesn’t understand all of my autism and how certain things affect me but she does understand some and I am also grateful for that.

The drive in to London was long, exhausting and somewhat boring. I was driving for rather a long time and appeared to be making little progress. The centre of London was chaotic. My Good Lady could see I was uncomfortable just being in the car and suggested I wait in the car and listened to my Roy Orbison cassette. Again, I was grateful and said if she wouldn’t mind.

So that’s what I did. I thought for a moment, perhaps the Good Lord above was smiling down on me, a glimmer of hope in my eye. But as usual He was not smiling down on me, merely getting my hopes up... My cassette player unit had stopped working. No Roy Orbison for me. The radio was also out of commission despite working flawlessly on the last weekend. I suspect a fuse has blown, or the cable has come detached somehow. A little job for me over this week at some point... No rest for the wicked!

There was a lot of people present. Shoppers hungry for Christmas bargains. It was like being at the zoo and watching the animals in their enclosures. I felt safe in the motor car though and remained eternally grateful that I could be there. So with no music to hear I strategically nipped out of the car and fetched my newspaper, crossword and notebook from the boot. Always prepared. I lit my pipe and then read my newspaper and attempted the crossword.

My Good Lady was remarkably fast, unusual for her as she has a dodgy hip but when she returned she said she was worried about me on my own. She also bought me a candy cane. Very thoughtful indeed.

One feels rather proud of himself right now. Yesterday was hard indeed but I am glad I was able to do it. I am an old fossil now some may say so I must act grownup, sometimes.

Thank you again good people for your words yesterday. I have read them all and give you thanks.

Regards,

George.

I Sperg said:

(I got 17 years out of one that ended it's life being driven into a canal on casualty)

Story please. 

I enjoyed this post.

Very informative. 

First time out in a reliant I had it on two wheels and it was only the girl in the back having the presence of mind to put her weight in the right place whilst I tried to finesse the rest of the turn a bit more that allows me to laugh at the experience. 

The perceived social status, is I will admit, the major thing that goes against owning a "posh" car. 

There are however, massive, massive, benefits to owing the right older "posh car". When I paid 1300 for my Daimler 4.0 with LPG conversion from a dealer, I was buying a car that had once cost (the football association, allegedly) 62,000 originally. this car was not owned by someone who put cheap tyres on it or stretched the service intervals or raced other salesmen, no, for most of it's life until it no longer conveyed prestige it was LOOKED AFTER, they all are! of course the owner before the dealer had fitted the cheap tyres, had not attended to the valve seals when it started smoking but instead had added stuff to the oil etc. so there was going to be some further spending required, plus it came form a dealer but was at private price so you just KNOW there's a mechanical issue somewhere, (It was the differential and teh bugger turned up the radio as soon as it started to become audible, which actually cost him an extra 200 quid in the haggling 'cos I knew he wanted rid of it, BUT 16 years later I still have it...  

A "posh car is also nice and quiet inside, designed to be easy and stress free to drive, normally an automatic box, which is a wonderful, wonderful thing to have, a nice sounding stereo, often cool in the summer air conditioning, and unlike a 20 year old ford renault etc, once you do get your posh old banger right, unless it's a ferrari, it stays right for quite a while. 

I've seen the look a few strangers give me when I'm driving the sort of cars I own, and they are wrong, I didn't buy it to "impress" (Although I do enjoy putting a shine on it with the glim, and I personally am very enamoured with the styling and design choices, so if people find the car impressive I'm not going to argue) but I drive my paid for in one hit old posh car because after the initial extra messing about is done it makes better economic sense over borrowing more to buy a conventional car which will break down more often in the long term and not be as nice to drive. 

Older less sporty BMW's can be a wonderful car to own (I got 17 years out of one that ended it's life being driven into a canal on casualty) or a Volvo. Leave the mecedes to the sort of people who like those, be very skeptical also of audi, any Jaguar built after 1997, I now nothing about porsches but people seem to think that the ones with the boxer engine are best, but whatever posh car you might consider, get advice always from someone who knows the make and model you are interested in if you can. 

Bigger more expensive cars are built to last longer and depreciate faster than regular cars, and there definitely is a sweet spot that has always worked very well for me. Yes the insurance can be stratospheric but my car is only worth 1300 quid so despite being insurance group 1 million, it's astoundingly cheap compared to say a two litre more modern toyota. My dailer was 250 quid five eyars ago, last time I used it.  

Me neither, I've made a lot of use of local bus services and got to know them pretty well. I used to find public transport overwhelming and avoided it generally so have had a lot of practice at using it in the last decade and can even enjoy it at times these days (I'd like to perhaps try using trains, coaches and even planes again which I haven't for many years now and even enjoy them too). 

Old Timer I'm really sorry about your anxieties with going to London :/ 

That must have been really difficult for you but it shows how much you love your wife that you would take her.

It's sweet but I do feel for you because I know what a busy place London is.

And how stressful Christmas shopping is wherever you are! 

I really do hope it all went well for you and you're feeling a bit better now :) 

Sending positive vibes your way.

Yikes, why would she force you to go shopping during this time of the year? Why can't she just go shopping with someone that enjoys shopping and all the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping? She could go with another family member or friend. Why would she drag you into it, and force you to go? 

No matter how old or young you are, if you said no and didn't agree on doing something, then you shouldn't have to be forced into doing it, especially if it's someone who loves you. I mean she might get upset that you ruined her day, but she was trying to ruin your day. She could have made other plans. Went with other people. 

Online shopping also takes time to deliver, and considering that online delivery services are getting swarmed this time of the year, it's not a guarantee that the gifts will be delivered in time for Christmas. 

But anyways, I hope the best for you.  

Ahh hope it went okay in the end. Sounds like a nightmare. It so difficult to explain to someone else why something like that is so hard to do. 

I find a good trick is to pretend you have a blister and say that you’ll sit on a bench whilst they go in a shop. That way you can be away from the crowds, can sit with headphones or earplugs in and be in your own little world til they return, turn it into a positive and offer to hold all the shopping bags whilst you sit and wait so her hands are free to shop! :) 

Ah, Old Timer, sorry to hear this! I loathe having to go to busy places to shop - I prefer to do it all online. The only positive I can see in your situation is that you're driving, not taking the tube - which makes it marginally better! 

I live quite close to a big Westfield shopping centre which I will very occasionally bear to go into, but only middle of the day on a work/school day so it is quiet - and they're designed with space in mind so they can seem not too crowded even if busy. 

Otherwise it's 100% online only, so I can stay in my PJ's and not have to deal with people. 

If you can pay my hourly rate, I'll step up and stand in for you.

I'm famliiar with Driving a Rolls too, and will be able to get enthusiastic about helping her with the shopping. (After all I'll be nowhere near when the presents are opened!) I also can provide an easy to use excel spreadsheet where you good lady can list all her proposed present recipients, apply a simple number between one and ten indicating how much she loves each of them, you can enter the total spend and then she will be presented with a carefully calculated preset budget for each person, which will help her to not overspend.

Yes this is an attempt at humour (although possibly a practical solution if you have money to burn employing me to stand in ain't going to be cheap) 

Other approaches you could try are heavy drinking or consumption of drugs, although then someone else still needs to drive the Rolls. (I've got a Rolls Canardly parked on the drive myself). 

Find the agent of her favourite celebrity and try and get a home visit that will conflict with her proposed shopping trip.

Obviously there's the "bury her under the patio and tell anyone who asks that you last saw her ordering a taxi to go Christmas shopping approach" but that can have a lot more downsides that might be immediately apparent and I don't recommend it.  

Nah, I think you might just have to bite the bullet and suck it down. I carry a camera often to such outings and occasionally get a good or interesting picture to try and compensate myself for the hideous suffering I have to undergo. I did try a strategy of buying something for myself by means of compensation but you just end up visiting money on stuff you don't need, and you are supposed to be wasting your money on things other people don't need... 

This is somewhat off-topic, but reading your post has brought back memories of supermarket shopping with my parents during the 1970s and 1980s when I was a young child. It was noticeable that there would always be a group of middle-aged and elderly husbands outside the supermarket, which fascinated me. Meanwhile, their wives would be inside the supermarket, often struggling to navigate shopping trolleys with decidedly dodgy wheels. It was as though there was some unspoken rule... A memo that my dad and younger males hadn't received, declaring that men were strictly prohibited from entering shops with their spouses.

However, as I have gotten older, I have developed an increasing dislike of physically visiting shops, irrespective of the time of year. Whilst I know I have the luxury of being able to order items online, there are instances when I want to see, touch, or smell items, before committing myself to purchasing them. Returning items ordered online can sometimes feel like a hassle.

Whilst I agree with your wife that it can be good to get out, I find it usually only applies if it is to do something that we enjoy and/or want to do. That said, sometimes it can be better to go along with something we may not necessarily want to do, to keep the peace. Admittedly, the downside is that we can pay the price for it afterward (shutdowns, and the like).

Yes that is sadly true.

When I was younger I observed similar with my grandparents. My grandad would do as he was told and just stay out of the way as much as possible for a quiet life.

That's possibly one of the reasons why I have remained eternally single.

My car of choice would be a Reliant Robin, mini, or something similar. If I was going to drive I'd want a clapped out old banger, I don't like the perceived social status people seem to think owning a posh car has.

Plus, I always remember the Robin from Mr. Bean episodes! They do seem quite prone to flipping.

Autonomistic said:

You really do need to learn to say no.

Although this is good advice, and I've said similar, some relationships don't allow for that kind of autonomy.

I was there once, as was my husband, and it wasn't worth the hassle of saying 'no'.

My dad just did as he was told.

It's very sad but true (and hopefully isn't the case here).

Maintaining the peace is what it can come down to

I was joking.

LOL.

Sorry.

Robin Reliants are still available and you used to be able to drive them without a car licence, so were a good alternative to a moped/motorbike.

I remember going in one once (as a passenger) over a really windy bridge and it was almost blown over.

Driving into central London at this time of year  

Can you become an environmental activist and declare that it is against your principles. Tell your wife that you are a huge fan of your fellow autist Greta Thunberg. 

You really do need to learn to say no. If you find yourself going then for goodness sake stay in the car. Let your wife do the shops but you do not need to be there.