hi

hi,im new on here this is my first attempt on chatting on here.my eleven year old daughter is in the process of being seen by drs,she has only been seen twice.they are under the impression as am i, that she is showing all the signs of aspergers.my head feels like it is spinning at the moment.i have always felt that things were different with her,but put this down to all children are different,when comparing her to my much older daughter.everything seems like very hrd work at the moment,even getting up in the mornings getting dressed has always been a major problem with clothes being thrown everywhere,and clothes being given away or taken back to the shops.what clothes she will wear have to be inside out,or hve the labels cut out,she cant feel restricted.she seems scared of everything,she cant be alone in a room even to go to the toilet.her food cant touch on her plate.she is sleeping in with me at the moment,which the dr has told me to carry on with.but this is not really ideal.if i try to get her to sleep alone or leave her in a room on her own,she has major meltdowns,its so sad to see,its like she turns into another person.hitting herself pulling her hair......swearing.which she doesnt do when relaxed.she becomes aggressive towards me too, and anything she can get her hands on.but i can see that she cant deal with her feelings.she looks so scared.she has a glazed look about her when this happensshe screams for help,i cant go near her to console her,but then she wont let me walk away either.she has a very low self esteem and thinks everyone is against her or takes everything likepeople are having a go at her. ,and has only one friend who she sees occasionally,her friend is a neighbour who she has grown up with,and seems to understand her.she has no other friends,she recently started secondary school,but went for about one week,and has not been for two months.im so worried about her,has anyone been through similar?im worried about her education as she was behind with some of her work anyway .can i get help with some kind of education for her?they have said about her taking risperidone,but im not sure i like the idea of her being medicated,i would like to try some kind of confidence boosting ideas first.i just want my beautiful girl to be happy.sorry if this sounds a bit muddled but theres so much gong on,it all seems to have esculated since the transition to big school and hitting the first signs of puberty.this is all in the past month.

  • thankyou for your reply crystal12.its only very recently everything has come to light with my daughter,i had heard of aspergers,but didnt really know what it was,so as i mentioned before its all very new to me.the drs that she sees at the moment are from the camhs team in my area,so appointments are as and when, as they are very overloaded.although i will be ringing them on monday as i feel as though i have been left in limbo,not really knowing whats going on.i was just told to look on the internet for advice,and am awaiting an appointment from a sleep solution team,and told to think about the risperidone option as i  wasnt really keen on the idea at the last appointment.i was told the risperidone,which would be of a low dosage, was to calm her anxiety,control her aggressive outbursts and it could help her sleep.this was told to me by the dr she saw at camhs.the school have been ok about her absences,i have kept them informed,and asked for work to be sent home,which they have but because she went to the school for only a week,they dont seem to know at what stage her capabilities are,she was very behind with her maths and a little behind with some of her other subjects in primary school,and the work that they have sent home,is to hard for her which stresses her out even more. . i feel as though she is missing out on so much education.i didnt know about the statement of educational needs,and i am going to try and push things forward more quickly if i can.i have had a brief look around this site and will continue to do so for the informtion that may help me,and on the sites you have mentioned,thankyou so much for replying to me and for your help,its nice to know that people understand,and i am not alone with things.

  • Hi - welcome to the posts.  It's not at all uncommon for autistic children to have more difficulties once they start secondary school.  Especially without the right support.  As she's in the process of being diagnosed I would suggest you contact the Drs etc to explain the situation + ask if there's any way things can be hurried along.  If she is diagnosed as autistic you can then get a statement of educational needs which should ensure she has support whilst at school, such as a TA.  There are loads of posts here which I think it's worth you looking at as some of the points you make are discussed.  As well as the nas site, there's also the ipsea site which is useful for education matters.  What have her school said about her absences or her being in the diagnostic process?  Whoever is suggesting risperidone needs to explain exactly why.  If it's to help her cope in situations she cannot cope with because she isn't getting the support she needs, then I think you need to think v hard indeed about that 1, especially as she's only 11, altho there is a children's dose.  If her environments were suitable and she had "autism-friendly" staff etc then it cd possibly be a different matter.  There are always going to be some situations which may cause serious distress for some autistic people which are out of anyone's control, therefore there may be a place for medication of some sort at that point.