I wish we weren't expected to be cheerful and grateful all the time.
I wish I could stop comparing myself to others.
If I ever feel unhappy, I'm told to "stop wallowing in it", "stop upsetting myself", "everyone gets days like this, but most of us rise above it", "there are millions worse off" etc. etc. etc. But I can't help it. I hate that I feel like this, I feel so weak and stupid, but it's so painful; what am I supposed to do? I hate that my younger sister is slim and beautiful and clever and a better singer than me and has hundreds more people on her side than I do on mine. I hate the vile comments people make to me in the school corridors about the way I look. I thought it had stopped but clearly it hasn't. I know I'll be told to report them but reporting them won't change what they've said. I wish they knew just how much it hurts me - then they'd be punished with guilt.
I feel so alone. Everyone around me has each other. I don't want to be a socialite...I just want to be the person who is one. And I'd like to be good looking, as shallow as that is. Do you see what I mean?
