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I wish I could stop "wallowing in it"

Eponine

I wish we weren't expected to be cheerful and grateful all the time.

I wish I could stop comparing myself to others.

If I ever feel unhappy, I'm told to "stop wallowing in it", "stop upsetting myself", "everyone gets days like this, but most of us rise above it", "there are millions worse off" etc. etc. etc. But I can't help it. I hate that I feel like this, I feel so weak and stupid, but it's so painful; what am I supposed to do? I hate that my younger sister is slim and beautiful and clever and a better singer than me and has hundreds more people on her side than I do on mine. I hate the vile comments people make to me in the school corridors about the way I look. I thought it had stopped but clearly it hasn't. I know I'll be told to report them but reporting them won't change what they've said. I wish they knew just how much it hurts me - then they'd be punished with guilt.

I feel so alone. Everyone around me has each other. I don't want to be a socialite...I just want to be the person who is one. And I'd like to be good looking, as shallow as that is. Do you see what I mean?

Parents

  • Most teenagers (presuming that is what you are) are insecure, a lot of it is bravado when they seem confident.  Most people don't become comfortable in their own skin until they are in their 30's (that's what I've read anyway).  I think by that age people are mature enough to realise that life is about a lot more than looks.  People can seem to "have it all" when they are good looking but these people are often the ones with the most psychological problems (that was told to me by a therapist).  Pressures are there when people are beautiful, they are just different ones.

    The bullying is a difficult one, I was bullied and my daughter is currently being bullied.  I know how it feels.  The thing with bullies is, they rarely care even if they know how much it hurts, because that's the type of people they are.  All you can do is look like it doesn't bother you, and eventually hopefully they will leave you alone.   It's often done to get a reaction and if they get none, they will get bored.

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  • Most teenagers (presuming that is what you are) are insecure, a lot of it is bravado when they seem confident.  Most people don't become comfortable in their own skin until they are in their 30's (that's what I've read anyway).  I think by that age people are mature enough to realise that life is about a lot more than looks.  People can seem to "have it all" when they are good looking but these people are often the ones with the most psychological problems (that was told to me by a therapist).  Pressures are there when people are beautiful, they are just different ones.

    The bullying is a difficult one, I was bullied and my daughter is currently being bullied.  I know how it feels.  The thing with bullies is, they rarely care even if they know how much it hurts, because that's the type of people they are.  All you can do is look like it doesn't bother you, and eventually hopefully they will leave you alone.   It's often done to get a reaction and if they get none, they will get bored.

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