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davek75

hi im david i have aspergers syndrome, i find it hard to socialise and find myself alienated and alone...

i was first diagnosed at 13 and am now 38... i still find it hard to communicate even after living with aspergers for all this time... i stammer when i talk and very rarely give eye contact which often makes people believe im not listening or interested in what there saying...

anyone else out there having the same issues or is it just me.... :(

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  • hi dave

    i too have difficulty with speach when nervous, i just slow everything down and do find it helps a little.

    as for eye contact, i was always uncomfortable with eye contact that is until my mid teens when i became an apprentice hairdresser. i found i could make eye contact in a secondary way by only talking to the reflections of clients in the mirrors. i am now (although not keen on doing so) able to maintain eye contact (sometimes my stare can be too intense). but i have become so good at it that people won't believe i have AS.

    making friends is another story, i am friendly but can't maintain relationships. my collegues at work have accepted that i won't go out for the social events but can be quite sociable in the staff room, mostly they tease me about my rigidity and i don't mind becuase it demonstrates they have some understanding of me.

    i too can seem disinterested, over time and with some help i have learnt some active listening skills, repeating some of the things being said and nodding my head at appropriate times are just a couple of things i do to show that despite limited eye contact i am actually listening.

    i truly wish you well and if i could offer some advice 'relax, things have a way of sorting themselves out'.

    good luck

    rob

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  • hi dave

    i too have difficulty with speach when nervous, i just slow everything down and do find it helps a little.

    as for eye contact, i was always uncomfortable with eye contact that is until my mid teens when i became an apprentice hairdresser. i found i could make eye contact in a secondary way by only talking to the reflections of clients in the mirrors. i am now (although not keen on doing so) able to maintain eye contact (sometimes my stare can be too intense). but i have become so good at it that people won't believe i have AS.

    making friends is another story, i am friendly but can't maintain relationships. my collegues at work have accepted that i won't go out for the social events but can be quite sociable in the staff room, mostly they tease me about my rigidity and i don't mind becuase it demonstrates they have some understanding of me.

    i too can seem disinterested, over time and with some help i have learnt some active listening skills, repeating some of the things being said and nodding my head at appropriate times are just a couple of things i do to show that despite limited eye contact i am actually listening.

    i truly wish you well and if i could offer some advice 'relax, things have a way of sorting themselves out'.

    good luck

    rob

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