looking for friends...

Eye contact and sensory issues do seem to be crucial even though considered marginal to a diagnosis, and most advice about living with autism hinges just around the triad of impairments. Eye contact and sensory issues are largely ignored.

I think it is difficult to follow Hotel California's advice. Telling people you are having difficulty with eye contact is either read as shyness (and everyone knows about shyness......) or if you explain further, you then get into the complex world of preconceived notions about what autism is.

Because of sensory issues dialogue disintegrates in busy social situations, both what I hear and what I say. I've tried saying I've got a hearing problem, but people instantly read that as hard of hearing or deaf - so they shout or enunciate very slowly - which sadly makes no difference. Or someone notices on a quieter occasion I hear perfectly and gets annoyed as if I'm faking deafness to annoy.

The term eye contact is a bit misleading. NTs only do it some of the time, and there's some understood etiquette about when its right and when it isn't. It has more to do with attending to another person's face, to read not only eye movements, but facial expressions, nods, shakes and other head movements, eyebrow raising etc.

I think most people on the spectrum to some degree have difficulty using their eyes effectively in social situations and both miss a lot, and confuse others.

It isn't just about reading non-verbal, its about conveying non-verbal information. If you are on the spectrum you are probably sending other people very confused messages.

And if you aren't observing other people's faces effectively (I unconciously look at mouths) you are missing an awful lot of social interchange.

The more intimate things get the more important is the non-verbal information, both ways. Intimate one-to-one is virtally all non-verbal (or the verbal appears nonsensical to outside observers).

But try as I might to convince people including NAS that eye contact and sensory issues are crucial to understanding autism, and probably underly most of the problems, no-one including NAS seems to be listening. Because these things are still minor asides at best from Triad of Impairments dominated training.

NAS Moderators - please could you give more attention to eye contact and sensory issues. These are fundamental issues to the everyday lives of people on the spectrum, and better understanding might help improve people's lives.

Eye contact and sensory issues do seem to be crucial even though considered marginal to a diagnosis, and most advice about living with autism hinges just around the triad of impairments. Eye contact and sensory issues are largely ignored.

I think it is difficult to follow Hotel California's advice. Telling people you are having difficulty with eye contact is either read as shyness (and everyone knows about shyness......) or if you explain further, you then get into the complex world of preconceived notions about what autism is.

Because of sensory issues dialogue disintegrates in busy social situations, both what I hear and what I say. I've tried saying I've got a hearing problem, but people instantly read that as hard of hearing or deaf - so they shout or enunciate very slowly - which sadly makes no difference. Or someone notices on a quieter occasion I hear perfectly and gets annoyed as if I'm faking deafness to annoy.

The term eye contact is a bit misleading. NTs only do it some of the time, and there's some understood etiquette about when its right and when it isn't. It has more to do with attending to another person's face, to read not only eye movements, but facial expressions, nods, shakes and other head movements, eyebrow raising etc.

I think most people on the spectrum to some degree have difficulty using their eyes effectively in social situations and both miss a lot, and confuse others.

It isn't just about reading non-verbal, its about conveying non-verbal information. If you are on the spectrum you are probably sending other people very confused messages.

And if you aren't observing other people's faces effectively (I unconciously look at mouths) you are missing an awful lot of social interchange.

The more intimate things get the more important is the non-verbal information, both ways. Intimate one-to-one is virtally all non-verbal (or the verbal appears nonsensical to outside observers).

But try as I might to convince people including NAS that eye contact and sensory issues are crucial to understanding autism, and probably underly most of the problems, no-one including NAS seems to be listening. Because these things are still minor asides at best from Triad of Impairments dominated training.

NAS Moderators - please could you give more attention to eye contact and sensory issues. These are fundamental issues to the everyday lives of people on the spectrum, and better understanding might help improve people's lives.