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Help living with an ASD partner

BrokenBiscuits

Hi, I've recently got my ASD diagnosis following a life time of depression.  I hope this will be the start to understanding the world around me a little better and forgiving myself past problems.  But my immediate thoughts are for my partner, is there any help available which could be sent to them, are there any books to recommend which I could buy?

I know the 21st century solution is to point someone towards a FAQ on a website, but I feel that some form of community, group, course, series of lectures etc would be a better way of helping them.

Dose anyone have any advice on the subject?

Thanks

Parents

  • Luke Beardon's books on adult autism, I would recommend. The best single volume is probably Tony Attwood's 'Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome', despite the title, it covers what is now 'ASD level 1 support needs' type autism.

  • in reply to Martin

    I haven't read the Attwood book, so was immediately keen to check it out for my own partner's potential benefit.

    However, this review comment on Amazon has stopped me in my tracks - and may not be what is hoping for, either:

    "The other comment I found deeply hurtful to Aspies everywhere was in Chapter 13 about long-term relationships. Ironically, in the section about 'Strategies to strengthen the relationship', Dr Attwood cites a comment by an NT partner: 'When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade.' Dr Attwood's preceding sentence here is telling and shows exactly what I mean about NTs invariably resorting to treating us as inferior beings. He says, 'A positive attitude is also of paramount importance.' Can Dr Attwood please inform me as to how, exactly, viewing your life partner as 'a lemon' (i.e. a dud) is in any way positive or healthy?" 

  • in reply to Bunny

    So far, you're correct, not quite what I was after, but I'm finding it useful all the same.

    Have you read any of Tony Atwood's books?  Yesterday was the first time I've heard his name, reading his background he appears to be an individual with a lot of care and concern for Autists, I'd like to think this lemon remark was light-hearted and not disrespectful.

    I don't currently have a personality or identity (which I recognise), so I can't take offence at something I don't think applies to me, so perhaps I am not the best person to comment.  But I hope the remarks didn't cause you too many negative thoughts.

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  • in reply to Bunny

    So far, you're correct, not quite what I was after, but I'm finding it useful all the same.

    Have you read any of Tony Atwood's books?  Yesterday was the first time I've heard his name, reading his background he appears to be an individual with a lot of care and concern for Autists, I'd like to think this lemon remark was light-hearted and not disrespectful.

    I don't currently have a personality or identity (which I recognise), so I can't take offence at something I don't think applies to me, so perhaps I am not the best person to comment.  But I hope the remarks didn't cause you too many negative thoughts.

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