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Help living with an ASD partner

BrokenBiscuits

Hi, I've recently got my ASD diagnosis following a life time of depression.  I hope this will be the start to understanding the world around me a little better and forgiving myself past problems.  But my immediate thoughts are for my partner, is there any help available which could be sent to them, are there any books to recommend which I could buy?

I know the 21st century solution is to point someone towards a FAQ on a website, but I feel that some form of community, group, course, series of lectures etc would be a better way of helping them.

Dose anyone have any advice on the subject?

Thanks

Parents

  • Luke Beardon's books on adult autism, I would recommend. The best single volume is probably Tony Attwood's 'Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome', despite the title, it covers what is now 'ASD level 1 support needs' type autism.

  • in reply to Martin

    I haven't read the Attwood book, so was immediately keen to check it out for my own partner's potential benefit.

    However, this review comment on Amazon has stopped me in my tracks - and may not be what is hoping for, either:

    "The other comment I found deeply hurtful to Aspies everywhere was in Chapter 13 about long-term relationships. Ironically, in the section about 'Strategies to strengthen the relationship', Dr Attwood cites a comment by an NT partner: 'When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade.' Dr Attwood's preceding sentence here is telling and shows exactly what I mean about NTs invariably resorting to treating us as inferior beings. He says, 'A positive attitude is also of paramount importance.' Can Dr Attwood please inform me as to how, exactly, viewing your life partner as 'a lemon' (i.e. a dud) is in any way positive or healthy?" 

  • in reply to Bunny

    I found the book very useful, but then again I am a biomedical scientist, an academic doctor myself, as well as an autist. I appreciate a biomedical view of autism. If you wanted an 'everything in the garden is rosy', autistic advocate's view of autism, it might disappoint. Your, and presumably the reviewer's, excerpts, seem to be rather selective, from what is a book with an overwhelmingly positive view of autism (you say you haven't read it - I have).  Attwood has commented that autism, "Might be the next step in human evolution".  As a Darwinist, I profoundly disagree with this hypothesis, but it is certainly a very autism-friendly idea. The 'lemonade' comment is surely quite obviously a comical comment?

  • in reply to Deepthought

    Well, I think it is fair to say that you and Martin have managed to squeeze all the juice from this matter.....i do so love the autistic thoroughness....it makes me very proud of our tribe.  Thank you both.

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