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Issues with work

Wombles

Normally, I really enjoy my work, but at the moment I am really experiencing issues with a new manager.  It seems that every suggestion or contribution I make, he just brushes aside, and there is always a "Yes, but..." whenever I make any type of contribution to things.

I do wonder if I am annoying him because I do have a habit of pointing out when things are not right, or suggesting when I think I know a better way to do things.  My partner has told me to just let it go because he perceives me to be a threat because I know better than him, and I just need to take the Sheldon approach of "they don't like you telling them you're smarter than them".  But it doesn't make it any easier for me, and I find it very frustrating that any suggestion or point I make to try and make things better is just dismissed out of hand with a "Yes, but..."

Can anyone suggest how I can try and control my tendency to always point out what I perceive to be the flaws in things, or to stop myself from making suggestions.  I try very hard to do so because I think I am annoying people, but I find old habits die hard.  I am not being horrible - I genuinely want to help to make things better.

I also have a habit of saying exactly what I am thinking, which also seems to get people's backs up.  Are there any techniques I can use to try and control that so I don't just say what is in my head?

I have never really had these problems before, and my coworkers have seemingly always welcomed my input and suggestions, but this manager really doesn't seem interested in my input or point of view.

Parents
  • Wombles said:
    I do wonder if I am annoying him because I do have a habit of pointing out when things are not right, or suggesting when I think I know a better way to do things.

    While this is helpful for some things it becomes incredibly frustrating to your manager because they feel you are constantly criticising them, judging them and trying to micromange them.

    You are approaching this from a place of well meaning but you need to appreciate the frustration this will cause your boss in their new role when they already will have a shed load of new things to deal with, learn and fix.

    Wombles said:
    I also have a habit of saying exactly what I am thinking, which also seems to get people's backs up.

    Use this to speak to your boss and tell him about your autism, your constant recommendations and your bluntness. Tell them clearly you do not mean to upset them but it is hard to control so can you work out a way together where you can be useful to to your boss and scrath your particular itch in this regard.

    Maybe it can be a case of you save your "continuous improvement" recommendations for the weekly team meeting where you can see if the sheer volume of these is unreasonable, having a weekly one-to-one meeting etc.

    The key thing is to engage honestly and openly with your boss, point out what you can offer and ask them to decide how best to use your superpower.

    If you cannot engage well with them and reign in your habits that you undertand are becoming a problem  then this will end badly. You acknowledge it so continuing to do it is going to lead to you leaving or getting sidelined / fired in the end, so knowing it but continuing to do it is self sabotage.

    Imaging the stress of having to find a new job, new colleagues, different company, new rules, different software & systems etc - that change will be massively stressful.

    All you need to do is not make the comments, not send those emails and just write stuff and keep it to yourself. Think of it as self preservation and focus your energy and frustration into something else at work.

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  • Wombles said:
    I do wonder if I am annoying him because I do have a habit of pointing out when things are not right, or suggesting when I think I know a better way to do things.

    While this is helpful for some things it becomes incredibly frustrating to your manager because they feel you are constantly criticising them, judging them and trying to micromange them.

    You are approaching this from a place of well meaning but you need to appreciate the frustration this will cause your boss in their new role when they already will have a shed load of new things to deal with, learn and fix.

    Wombles said:
    I also have a habit of saying exactly what I am thinking, which also seems to get people's backs up.

    Use this to speak to your boss and tell him about your autism, your constant recommendations and your bluntness. Tell them clearly you do not mean to upset them but it is hard to control so can you work out a way together where you can be useful to to your boss and scrath your particular itch in this regard.

    Maybe it can be a case of you save your "continuous improvement" recommendations for the weekly team meeting where you can see if the sheer volume of these is unreasonable, having a weekly one-to-one meeting etc.

    The key thing is to engage honestly and openly with your boss, point out what you can offer and ask them to decide how best to use your superpower.

    If you cannot engage well with them and reign in your habits that you undertand are becoming a problem  then this will end badly. You acknowledge it so continuing to do it is going to lead to you leaving or getting sidelined / fired in the end, so knowing it but continuing to do it is self sabotage.

    Imaging the stress of having to find a new job, new colleagues, different company, new rules, different software & systems etc - that change will be massively stressful.

    All you need to do is not make the comments, not send those emails and just write stuff and keep it to yourself. Think of it as self preservation and focus your energy and frustration into something else at work.

Children
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