What to do when self help fails?

Sorry it's taken me so long, I've not been on here for a while, but thanks - many thanks - for your replies

I assume you are talking about self help with regard to coping with the spectrum. Reading up may help just there's such a glut of books, and honestly only 10% that's much help.

Autobiographies by people on the spectrum can be informative and helpful. If you can get hold of a copy of John Elder Robinson's "Look me in the Eye", that's one of the most positive upbeat approaches to being on the spectrum I've ever read.

Try meeting other people on the spectrum - I agree that's not easy. But if you can widen your encounters with other people similarly affected it may help, it helped me. There were NAS social groups until about a year or so, but seem to have closed down, least where I was. Sometimes a local parents group will provide a social encounter.

I was fortunate being in education and involved with disabled students. It gave me a justification to chat to students on the spectrum whenever I could.

I wasn't allowed to disclose my own diagnosis and in any case I don't think it would help. But I could explain my purpose as meeting as many people on the spectrum as possible on the grounds in order to help a few students I would be involved with directly I needed a broader knowledge. I'm sure some were suspicious of my motives, but it was most useful.

Also discussions on line, such as here, are very good for seeing how it affects others. I did join a NAS initiative where in my former local area there was an online group, but there hardly seemed to be anything going on, unless I was into Dr Who, and I seem to have lost my password so don't know if it has died or is still going. I was a participant in the last year of Clare Sainsbury's discussion group, but that used to flood my computer with emails, up to a hundred a day sometimes.

I think the big problem is isolation, and having to converse with NTs who quite simply do not understand the difficulties.  Talking wherever possible to others on the spectrum seems to me to be a good way forward.

You just keep trying, don't accept that you have done all you can and just think of or try another way. Never ever give up or accept defeat no matter how impossible or difficult things may seem and always try to remember that whatever your situation is there are many people who are worse off...I mean look at those poor Philippino people whos houses have been destroyed, millions of people now have no house, no job, no food or water and have lost many of their family members and loved ones - what could be worse than that ? It makes my struggle seem trivial.

I once lived rough on the street for over a year - now whenever I feel down I tell myself no matter how bad things are I've got a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in and food to eat and I am grateful.