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Hair cutting and dressing

shopgirl

Can anybody help! How on earth do I get my son (3.5yrs) to have his hair cut without having a meltdown? Until a few months ago he was not so bad but recently has decided this hurts. I've done all the prep with social stories, role play on teddy, images on the internet & YouTube. We even said grandma could do it at home so it was someone and where familiar. Help!!!!

also we've been working towards teaching him to dress himself for a while now but it's going so slowly. I read something yesterday that suggested it's common for kids with asd to never learn to dress themselves. Is this true?

  • thanks everyone. some really helpful tips there. I think its going to be a case of trial and error and damage limitation but hopefully each time it will get a little easier.

  • sorry should have said, my opinion comes from 30 years hairdressing and 10 years working with kids with ASD's.

    rob

  • try having it cut in 2 stages, one week the front as this won't look so bad and reward him, the next have the back trimmed and again reward him. then ask the salon owner if you could visit without a haircut for a couple of weeks before his next trim, reward him after each visit. be sure to let him see you have your own done on a regular basis. hope it goes well in future, what ever happens it would be counter productive to cause him stress, when he's ready he will do this thing without drama. rob

  • Paull said:

    just tell him he will look like a girl if it grows too much - it worked with me. 

    That never worked with me!  

    From approximately 15 to  26 years, I had very long hair.  Now aged 37 years, I recently grew it back.  

  • just tell him he will look like a girl if it grows too much - it worked with me. Another option is a hair clipper, although have also experienced pain with these as well but some are great and cut through hair like a knife through butter so make sure you read the online reviews. There are no blades involved, it is quite quick and it doesn't hurt at all if you get the right ones.

  • For me I think it's the feeling of being confined.  I'm 26 and I still don't like getting my hair cut.  But, it's become more of a 'please refrain from small talk' situation.

    It is a difficult one because sharp objects are involved so they have to sit still.  I don't know how to make it less scary.  I was terrified of toilets when I was younger.  So, whatever may seem harmless to you maybe the scariest thing ever for your child.  It also maybe the sensation.  But, fortunately it is something they normally grow out of eventually, which doesn't really help matters now unfortunately.

  • I'm still struggling with this with my 4 1/2 year old.  He HATES having his hair cut but can be persuaded to suffer for a short time.  I found the following things helpful:

    - find a nice hairdresser who is sympathetic, and willing to listen to you

    - prepare your child so they know what is coming, but don't talk too much about it so they get anxious.  just enough so it is not a suprise

    - we avoid having the cape over him as he hates it, and we don't let the hairdresser spray water on his head.  if she needs his hair damp she wets the comb and combs the water in

    - distraction during haircutting - iPad games or whatever the current favourite is. Singing, counting, spelling or anything to occupy his brain so that it has less capacity to worry about what's happening

    - flat out bribery.  chocolate buttons for little boys who sit still and have their hair cut.  little boys who struggle and jump off the chair have their buttons eaten by mummy.  usually the threat of losing even one button gives him pause.

    it does all feel really cruel though - have you considered just giving up and letting his hair grow long?

    in the past i've also resorted to cutting his hair whilst asleep, whilst he's in the bath (he loves the bath) and just not having it cut at all.  it's a balance I think, between helping him fit in with social expectations (especially on boys and hair length), practicality (managing long hair washing etc) and desensitising in the long term, vs the pain they go through struggling to have their hair cut.

    Anyone else got any tips?

  • My son didn't like anything tight round his tummy so he had school trousers with elastic in them. Then he grew very tall and they didnt do elasticated trousersin his size, so I bought a big piece of materiel (about 9 yards) of gaberdine and made my own for about 4 years.

  • My son used to scream the house down when I tried to cut his hair and when I took him to the hairdressers he ran off, so in the end I used to cut his hair while he was asleep, do the side he was not sleeping on, then wait till he turned over and then did the other side.

  • oh god no. hes never liked the clippers. its just scissors.

    we even got him the playdough hair dressing studio set which he loves playing with to help him  :(

  • What is his hair being cut with? If it's clippers, scissors might be better for him?