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meltdowns

Fen
9 months ago

Hi everyone, i’m struggling with meltdowns from being overwhelmed and exhausted atm, and i’m finding one person close to me really struggles to deal with me when i’m having one. They really do try their hardest, but i don’t think they understand fully, even though i’ve explained so many times what my meltdowns are. They are calm at the beginning (first 5 minutes) but then lose their patience with me and get upset themselves (which i understand in a way as it’s a complicated thing) but i’ve tried to explain they need to stay calm and reassure me but they can’t seem to ever keep calm through a whole meltdown, to the point i’m now very nervous of meltdowns as i’m scared of upsetting them, and the whole situation being more dramatic then it has to be. Does anyone either relate to this, have and ideas or tips? 

thank you in advance Blush

Parents
  • 9 months ago
    Fen said:
    Does anyone either relate to this, have and ideas or tips? 

    On the ideas front, the following book would be useful for both of you:

    From Anxiety to Meltdown - How Individuals on the Autism Spectrum Deal with Anxiety, Experience Meltdowns, Manifest Tantrums, and How You Can Intervene Effectively - Deborah Lipsky (2011)
    ISBN 9781849058438

    The person you have who struggles to help when you have meltdowns may well have issues themselves and your behaviour when in meltdown mode is probably triggering them too. Telling them they just need to remain calm is kind of like them telling you not to meltdown - it is near impossible to change your nature.

    If this is the case then it is unfair for them to have to deal with you in that situation so you may need to have them just walk away (if you are in a safe space) or think of letting them go if you are melting down regularly to stop them from suffering too.

    You need to think of more than just your own wellbeing here - this person may also be suffering guilt, anxiety and fear as a result so educating them with this book is a good start but if they still struggle then you should look for some counselling to help further if they are up for it.

    What have you tried to manage the anxiety that leads to meltdown? You may also want to consider this book for pointers:

    Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety - A Guide to Successful Stress Management - Nick Dubin (2009)
    ISBN 9781843108955

    You are in a difficult situation but a constructive approach is your best way to make it at least a bit better. Good luck.

Reply
  • 9 months ago
    Fen said:
    Does anyone either relate to this, have and ideas or tips? 

    On the ideas front, the following book would be useful for both of you:

    From Anxiety to Meltdown - How Individuals on the Autism Spectrum Deal with Anxiety, Experience Meltdowns, Manifest Tantrums, and How You Can Intervene Effectively - Deborah Lipsky (2011)
    ISBN 9781849058438

    The person you have who struggles to help when you have meltdowns may well have issues themselves and your behaviour when in meltdown mode is probably triggering them too. Telling them they just need to remain calm is kind of like them telling you not to meltdown - it is near impossible to change your nature.

    If this is the case then it is unfair for them to have to deal with you in that situation so you may need to have them just walk away (if you are in a safe space) or think of letting them go if you are melting down regularly to stop them from suffering too.

    You need to think of more than just your own wellbeing here - this person may also be suffering guilt, anxiety and fear as a result so educating them with this book is a good start but if they still struggle then you should look for some counselling to help further if they are up for it.

    What have you tried to manage the anxiety that leads to meltdown? You may also want to consider this book for pointers:

    Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety - A Guide to Successful Stress Management - Nick Dubin (2009)
    ISBN 9781843108955

    You are in a difficult situation but a constructive approach is your best way to make it at least a bit better. Good luck.

Children