another noob! : )

Hi, I am also pretty new to this discussion board.  I am a 29-year-old autistic woman.  I write songs and train in martial arts and pro wrestling.  I am desperate for work, like a lot of autistic people... and also like a lot of people in rural areas like Cornwall.  I have a degree, which I am proud of, but behaves only as a drawback to finding work, alongside a massive debt over my head for that 'privelege' that I'll likely never pay off.

Naturally, I'm very positive.  I really hate all this depressive stuff.  Unfortunately it's all based on experience, and there isn't much you can do to get over experience other than to have experiences that contradict the earlier ones... e.g. get a job.  I can't even see past that right now, really.  Can't even think that far ahead, I've been so long in this impossible drudge. 

But hey, gotta stay manically upbeat, right?  I'm really broken up inside from all this.  Exercise helps for now.  Music always helps.  How long's it going to last though, and what's going to happen when it doesn't?  I'm a fighter, mentally as well as physically, but like they say "you can have all the heart and determination in the world, but physics is physics".

Well on the other hand though, if I could conjure up some money from somewhere, I could like do a course or something.  One based on getting a job, this time around.  I'm looking at these things, you know.  It's a bit like admiring how pretty jewellery that you'll never own looks in a shop window.  Gotta keep looking, though.  Gotta keep looking, just gotta keep looking and looking.  I'm not weak, I don't do "giving up".  D:<  Fierceness!!  Relentlessly.  I think that's what's good, right?  I'm going a bit mad to be honest.

Like many people, I expect.  A problem shared is two problems halved, n'all that.

I have a boyfriend.  He is gorgeous, I am very lucky.  He has aspergers syndrome too, like me.  He lives on the other side of the world.  I can't afford to go visit him.  I really miss him.  I feel guilty when he keeps being the one coming over to see me.

Parents
  • Hey Jane, welcome to the Community :)

    Don't worry about feeling down and posting - this is a place where you should feel welcome to talk about how things are going regardless of whether it's good or bad right now.

    Hope you enjoy your time here :)

Reply
  • Hey Jane, welcome to the Community :)

    Don't worry about feeling down and posting - this is a place where you should feel welcome to talk about how things are going regardless of whether it's good or bad right now.

    Hope you enjoy your time here :)

Children
No Data