New Kitty

Lovely! How old is she? I thought you were getting a white kitten? I have been away from the forum for a few days as we just got a new cat too and she is a bit hyper. I thought cats were supposed to be autists, but this one has ADHD hyperactive type for sure! She is only a year old so still quite kittenish.

They do like tuna, but she will need proper cat food as it has the right balance of nutrients for cats. I'm glad to read she is settling in with you. It is usually advised to keep them inside for the first week or two, starting out just in one room if nervous and gradually getting used to things. The Cats' Protection website will have info about how to settle your new cat, that's where we got ours from. They have been quite diligent about making sure we know how to look after a cat even though this is our 4th.

Also don't give her milk as it gives them the runs! Unless it is lactose free. Dunno if goat milk is OK? But they don't need it, water is safer.

OH, it can take a LOT more than that... "Time" for a start. Think of your new kitty as potentially a whole absorbing hobby and you won't go far wrong

See it from her point of view, she WAS kidnapped! (& transported to a new environment...)

Very possibly, the first thing she will want to find is a "safe place" where she can go and chill when things are getting too overwhelming

There are seven basic services a cat needs for a start, you've only mentioned three...

1. food - either crunchies (dried stuff) Wet food, or food from the big silver box ( chicken or ham form the fridge)  

2. water. We have a large catit water fountain thing (cat-IT stuff is good generally) so they generally don't need to ask 

3. Cat litter regularly changed.

4. Affection / company (on demand)

5. Play / stimulation - This can be a bit of a learning curve or it'll gel straight away...

6.  Recreational drugs. A.K.A catnip, Silver Vine. Occasionally at first then (on demand)

7. Opening of doors (on demand)

"ON demand" items can be negotiated somewhat: My cats clearly understand phrases like "FIrst I need to go pee", "NO". "Not now". And even "please leave me alone" which is great, But OTOH they know I WILL deliver the service after I've had a pee, NO means no, "not now" means the same but its worth reminding me, (and they do!) and "please leave me alone" means I'm about to chase you away or get out the vacuum cleaner.

Your cat once she settles in and realises that YOU are her pet human will attempt to train and instruct you, often by either comng and "bothering you" OR simply by sitting and looking at you. We have some evidence to suggest that they really are "willing you to do things" and if you are in a receptive state you can find yourself after a year or two Automatically getting up and providing the right service without really thinking about it...  

However for now, whilst you are waiting for you cat to accept you, (Dogs Automatically love you unless you are a crashing ***, cats decide after a period of consideration what they think of you) your best bet is to go read some cat books, like "cat confidential".

Provide or allocate scratching areas and materials, and learn to say "no" kindly/humourously, in a warning tone, authoritively and when REALLY NECCESARY sharply. Cats like nuance...

I've read what you write, and once you get past the sharp start of the learning curve I think you might find you've made a very good life choice. The sort of life choice that makes you look forwards to coming home... 

Good tidings to bring;

Hope is now friendly, with me.

Yes, she's now in the shed; fortunately, I was able to carry her. But she's still hiding, and hissing.

A friend says that I need to be with her, gradually edging over, for three hours. And I don't have that time; with my Zoom commitments.

However, my cleaner will be here; tomorrow morning. She'll help.

You say she is scared? Did she possibly have an adverse interaction with another human before she came to you that could have made her wary of people? In a funny way I often think cats are a bit like autistic people, in that what causes our trauma isn't always obvious, our reactions can be very extreme, and it takes time and patience from our loved ones to heal from it. Also the not wanting to be touched unless it is on our own terms. We can be very cat-like and vice versa.

She's still making high-pitched meows, and didn't do her number two in the tray.

I'm pretty dysregulated, now. 

How old is she? Settling in does take time and they often hide and are standoffish at first before becoming cuddle monsters. If you feel comfortable sharing a photo I'm sure we'd all love to see her.

Here are my two, brother and sister, who unfortunately now intensely dislike each other. This is the closest they'll get to each other and even this is rare.

She’s probably just nervous about being in a new environment- that’s normal. Make sure she has a safe cosy space and offer her treats or pets to make sure she knows you’re safe (without forcing it of course, just stay near her and I’m sure she’ll warm up to you soon). Also cats really like jingle feathery toys usually :)

Aren't most cats lactose intolerant? You may have had it right with water.

My cleaner's sister just called me; asking me to give her milk, rather than water.

She just went into the litter tray, which is a positive sign. But she's still scared. 

Here are a few guides, I'd usually write  the explanations myself but I'm short on time today.
https://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Cat-to-Be-Your-Friend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzuhuaeS0aQ (cat body language 101)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=777F2k72yoo (how to get a cat to like you)

Have you had cats before, Desmond? I'm sure she'll settle in to a nice comfortable routine with you over time. Hope is a nice name. Or maybe I just like the fact that it reminds me that the actress Anna Hope played a cat-nun (Novice Hame) in doctor Who, and that little chain of mental connections pleases me.:-) 

she's probably a little scared but its normal i have 2 cats myself, she just needs time to adjust. show her you arent bad and try give her treats but from a distance if u get what i mean? if you just got her today or a couple days ago you will just need to give her time :)