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Post pandemic ‘normality’

Kate Kestrel

I was talking with my family last night about the way the pandemic has impacted on us. Three of us have an autism diagnosis, and one of us is very likely autistic but not diagnosed. When the lockdown started we were all to some degree relieved to have an ‘excuse’ to withdraw from many aspects of life that we found stressful, such as going to work, seeing people, having face to face appointments with people etc etc. It meant that we could avoid a lot of stuff that we’d always found really difficult. We withdrew from society because we were being told to, and in some ways this was quite suited to our nature. However we are still finding it very hard to return to ‘normal’. My son’s social anxiety feels more entrenched than ever, and I find dealing with people and day to day problems much more stressful. It’s as if the pandemic got us into a more reclusive state of living and now we’re finding it harder to get out of our tendency to withdraw from life. Every problem feels like such a big deal now, we feel so easily overwhelmed by life. We find being around lots of people so stressful. However we also feel very isolated, despite the fact that in many ways we like being away from people. And the news is always so grim about everything falling apart - essential services like the nhs etc. The war in Ukraine. Everything feels so insecure. Everything is so expensive. When we do go out so many other people seem to look stressed and tired too. 
It all feel is so overwhelming sometimes. 
There’s this narrative that the pandemic is ‘over’, but we feel we are still really struggling to feel ‘normal’ again. It’s had a big impact on us and we’re finding it hard to mentally get back to where we were before it all happened. We were struggling even before it all though to be honest, but I think it’s made many of our problems even more difficult now. 
Does anyone else feel like this?

Parents

  • Hi, I haven’t read all the replies. The lockdowns were a perfect way of being. The world was at the correct pace. I am sorry so many people suffered and lost loved ones, for me it was a perfect world. I didn’t know I was autistic, when the world reopened it was when I crashed. To be honest I could live in a quiet world forever. I don’t really miix anymore, then again I never mixed much before. I do occasionally socialise but it’s more that my wife still deserves a normal life and likes to mix. We don’t watch much of the news anymore, about 10 minutes in the evening is enough, I spend that time watching my favourite train programme, yes I’m stereotypical autistic! What does help with days out is planning everything, my wife understands a lot more now and often protects me when something irregular happens.  Perhaps while the weather is nice, try a 10 minute walk in a wood or park once a day and try to increase slowly. Ask family if they want to tag along, the trick it to keep it very low key and not make it into a military operation. We went to woodland this week that has a cafe in the middle of it, my wife ordered the food and we sat outside, that was bearable and the picnic tables were set far apart. It felt okay to be in society but still kept them at arm’s length. Did the medication help from your post a few months ago? Take care.

  • in reply to Roy

    Hi Roy, I can relate to many of the things you write here. I love being outside, and if we eat out it’s always at outside tables now, and I’ve grown to really prefer it. I always liked to have lots of space between me and other people and because of the pandemic I feel that even more now. Like you I’m trying to reduce it a bit for the sake of my family, because even though they’re also autistic they are a bit less extreme than me in terms of they’re preference for avoiding people. Thankfully we all love being out in quiet places in the countryside, walking in the woods etc. We all hate things really crowded places and noisy people. So at the moment we’re trying to find a balance where we can feel ok and do some of the things we enjoy. For example I can’t face going back to the cinema, but my son and husband went to the cinema the other week (for the first time since the pandemic began) but they went to the first showing of the film in the morning and the cinema was almost empty. Before the pandemic we also would go to the first morning showing of films because it was quiet, But for myself at the moment I still don’t want to go to indoor things like that. As you say - I like to keep people ‘at arm’s length’ - or much further than that to be honest! I need to go to the optician as I haven’t been since the start of the pandemic (I have reading glasses) but I can’t face going. 

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  • in reply to Roy

    Hi Roy, I can relate to many of the things you write here. I love being outside, and if we eat out it’s always at outside tables now, and I’ve grown to really prefer it. I always liked to have lots of space between me and other people and because of the pandemic I feel that even more now. Like you I’m trying to reduce it a bit for the sake of my family, because even though they’re also autistic they are a bit less extreme than me in terms of they’re preference for avoiding people. Thankfully we all love being out in quiet places in the countryside, walking in the woods etc. We all hate things really crowded places and noisy people. So at the moment we’re trying to find a balance where we can feel ok and do some of the things we enjoy. For example I can’t face going back to the cinema, but my son and husband went to the cinema the other week (for the first time since the pandemic began) but they went to the first showing of the film in the morning and the cinema was almost empty. Before the pandemic we also would go to the first morning showing of films because it was quiet, But for myself at the moment I still don’t want to go to indoor things like that. As you say - I like to keep people ‘at arm’s length’ - or much further than that to be honest! I need to go to the optician as I haven’t been since the start of the pandemic (I have reading glasses) but I can’t face going. 

Children