Post pandemic ‘normality’

I was talking with my family last night about the way the pandemic has impacted on us. Three of us have an autism diagnosis, and one of us is very likely autistic but not diagnosed. When the lockdown started we were all to some degree relieved to have an ‘excuse’ to withdraw from many aspects of life that we found stressful, such as going to work, seeing people, having face to face appointments with people etc etc. It meant that we could avoid a lot of stuff that we’d always found really difficult. We withdrew from society because we were being told to, and in some ways this was quite suited to our nature. However we are still finding it very hard to return to ‘normal’. My son’s social anxiety feels more entrenched than ever, and I find dealing with people and day to day problems much more stressful. It’s as if the pandemic got us into a more reclusive state of living and now we’re finding it harder to get out of our tendency to withdraw from life. Every problem feels like such a big deal now, we feel so easily overwhelmed by life. We find being around lots of people so stressful. However we also feel very isolated, despite the fact that in many ways we like being away from people. And the news is always so grim about everything falling apart - essential services like the nhs etc. The war in Ukraine. Everything feels so insecure. Everything is so expensive. When we do go out so many other people seem to look stressed and tired too. 
It all feel is so overwhelming sometimes. 
There’s this narrative that the pandemic is ‘over’, but we feel we are still really struggling to feel ‘normal’ again. It’s had a big impact on us and we’re finding it hard to mentally get back to where we were before it all happened. We were struggling even before it all though to be honest, but I think it’s made many of our problems even more difficult now. 
Does anyone else feel like this?

Parents
  • No I feel differently. I hated being cooped up inside. Not being able to spend time with friends. Not being able to do things outside of the house to relax like go window shopping or go to the cinema.

    After the pandemic the world changed and in some ways it never went back. Restaurants I used to go to with my friends closed. The pub that I used to sit in when I was feeling stressed and needed to get out of the house closed.

    A lot of my friends use the pandemic as an excuse to cut ties or create distance. The weekly get-together I had with my brother and some of his friends stopped I think largely because they were getting tired of it and also some of them were getting a little bit afraid of leaving the house. The local LARP Group that was one of the last places I could hang out with old friends every now and again even though I myself am not into LARP stopped holding social meetings.

    my life outside of work was held together with string and sticky tape. And then the pandemic came along and knocked it over and it collapsed. And I’m certainly not grateful for the excuse to stay inside.

    I spent a fair portion of my time in the year or two before the pandemic feeling like my friends didn’t have enough time for me. I thought the pandemic will show them what it’s like to be isolated, when I reach out to them I will finally get more reciprocation, more enthusiasm for spending time together even if it is online. Instead they all hid in their little holes and stoped talking to me. And in some cases I suspect they’re still hiding in their holes today.

Reply
  • No I feel differently. I hated being cooped up inside. Not being able to spend time with friends. Not being able to do things outside of the house to relax like go window shopping or go to the cinema.

    After the pandemic the world changed and in some ways it never went back. Restaurants I used to go to with my friends closed. The pub that I used to sit in when I was feeling stressed and needed to get out of the house closed.

    A lot of my friends use the pandemic as an excuse to cut ties or create distance. The weekly get-together I had with my brother and some of his friends stopped I think largely because they were getting tired of it and also some of them were getting a little bit afraid of leaving the house. The local LARP Group that was one of the last places I could hang out with old friends every now and again even though I myself am not into LARP stopped holding social meetings.

    my life outside of work was held together with string and sticky tape. And then the pandemic came along and knocked it over and it collapsed. And I’m certainly not grateful for the excuse to stay inside.

    I spent a fair portion of my time in the year or two before the pandemic feeling like my friends didn’t have enough time for me. I thought the pandemic will show them what it’s like to be isolated, when I reach out to them I will finally get more reciprocation, more enthusiasm for spending time together even if it is online. Instead they all hid in their little holes and stoped talking to me. And in some cases I suspect they’re still hiding in their holes today.

Children
  • Hi Peter, I’m sorry that it’s impacted you in this way, that must be very difficult for you. The pandemic has had such wide ranging effects on people’s lives. Perhaps what lies behind your friends reluctance is simply fear of one form or another. Or maybe the expense of going out these days? We went out for a meal (sitting outside) last week and we were shocked how much everything cost. Also I think people have just got out of the habit of certain things. We used to go to the cinema really regularly but I was surprised to find that I didn’t miss it as much as I thought I would. Now we are happy just to watch films at home and it saves a lot of money too. We just changed the habit of going out to watch films, and don’t feel the need to go back. And I still want to avoid catching Covid. 

    Anyway, thanks for your reply and I hope that with time your friends return to being more sociable with you. 

  • The USSA will NEVER allow peace and prosperity to exist in the World.