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How do people see you?

Trisha

Do people see the real you or the 'you' that's used when you're masking?

With me, my friends at school, teachers and family see the masked Trisha. To most people I'm funny, social, love going out, a bit adventurous, love to gossip with the girls in the loo...

But behind the mask people don't see the 'real' me who's shy, prefers to stay in, hates being social, just wants her own company and to hide away from the scary big world.

It's exhausting masking this much but I do because it's the only way I can function and get through each day.

Most people don't understand but it's good people here do.

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  • Trisha said:
    It's exhausting masking this much but I do because it's the only way I can function and get through each day.

    Who are you masking for?

    If it is so you don't stand out then consider the benefit to yourself to being authentic and if it isn't too extreme then stop trying to be something you are not - your colleagues will get used to it soon enough and I always found there was a actually some respect to be found from not giving a shot about what the others think.

    For me - others saw me as a bit odd, lacking in social interest (eg not wanting to out for drinks after work every week) and easy to make a joke out of (that was easy to turn back on them by pointing out publically that they were mocking someone with a disability that was not cool).

    The energy you get back from not masking is quite significant as is the confidence that you can be yourself - the tricky part was overcoming the self conciousness of doing this. Luckily my therapist was great at helping me do this.

    At the end of the day, if you can't be the real you, who are you being?

    Pragmatically though, it is best to dial down some behaviours that may upset others, but is some ways that is like not farting in public - you may feel you need to do it sometimes but it can be held until the appropriate time (eg in difficult exam where a little chaos is a welcome distraction ;) )

  • in reply to Iain

    I've tried being 'me' lots of times but it feels like life will be easier for me if I'm masked.

    Most people don't want to know the real me. Only people here seem to like me when I'm not masking.

    At school I wouldn't be popular or have friends if I didn't mask but as another member said, I pay the price for masking later on.

    But it's something I'm trying to work on as I feel like I should be myself but for now it's not really an option.

Reply
  • in reply to Iain

    I've tried being 'me' lots of times but it feels like life will be easier for me if I'm masked.

    Most people don't want to know the real me. Only people here seem to like me when I'm not masking.

    At school I wouldn't be popular or have friends if I didn't mask but as another member said, I pay the price for masking later on.

    But it's something I'm trying to work on as I feel like I should be myself but for now it's not really an option.

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